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Stop.. Why are you crying?

Because you told me I couldn't
Therefore I didn't

You taught me to loathe myself.
And now you come back like "hope all is well."

It's taking me time
Only time could tell

Well..

Everyday I'm learning how to keep it moving
Everything you said "no" to, I'm doing

I'm not afraid,
Anything I didn't do yesterday I'm doing today

I swear..

You altered me
But wonder where's my originality

I hate talking to you because you don't listen
You force me to become a beast within

This is why I can't let anybody in
This is why I repent my sins


Getting my daily bread but it feels like I'm giving in

I thought you loved me enough to send me out in this world
I was supposed to be your #1 girl

But you tricked me

Let me down and filled with insecurity
Let me drown and think I wasn't worthy

Stop.. Why am I crying?
*Because if I said I forgive you I'd be lying
Brian Payamps Oct 2015
My body has become more than just his temple
With these tattoos on me like a picture book it has become a canvas
This is when two worlds collide
And one can't tell the difference from the other
In what is wrong and what is right
My words have become more than just his prayers
With logistical reasoning I stand and ask of why  
For my father is defiance the way I want to open up my mind
My lungs have become more than just his air
Since pollution is inhaled and oxygen exhaled
One might of thought I was a tree But is the brown bark rolled over green leaves what's in me.
My knees have become more than just for praise
For times I kneel between to sets of tighs attached to drums and eat sushi
Until my hunger is filled with fried chicken and fish
He sees graffiti on his temple not art
He sees the devil on his tongue not why
He sees smoke in his lungs not light
He sees Eve by his side not his wife
He sees the apple split in half for him to eat not fish
He sees Adam in me.
Never let your value be determined by another person. No such thing as being let down just un-expectation. Enjoy.
  Sep 2015 Brian Payamps
GaryFairy
As
Boundaries
Create
Distance
Egos
Fluctuate,
Giving
Hollow
Insec­urities
Justification,
Killing
Likely
Manifestations,
Nullifying
­Our
Purest
Qualities,
Reducing
Satisfactions
That
Usually
Vary,
W­elcoming
Xenial
Yin-yang
Zealously
whew...writing this gave me a headache...i tried to use one word on each line... xenial - of, relating to, or constituting hospitality or relations between host and guest
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Have you ever kissed someone and you knew it'll be the last time.
Since it wasn't see you later but goodbye.
Have you ever kissed someone and knew it was the last time.
Since when you walked away you kept your head high.
At least you kept your pride
Since you didn't cry.
I kissed her lips which were once mine
For the last time
As we hugged for the last time
She placed her lips on my cheek
And I felt like Judas
Guess salvation wasn't for me
Have you ever kissed someone and knew it'll be the last time
At least I kept my pride
Since I didn't cry.
Sometimes you have to show you're venerable unfortunately that's not me. Only way to express it is through writing.
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Crazy how the new got old so quick
Drug dealing is the new entrepreneurship
Stripping is the new night shift
**** financial aid ****
Since they finish college but continue dancing
On that ***** pole ****
Gay is the new straight
Killer cops are the new superman
And cop killers the new batman
Since when have black lives matter
That's old news ****
Social media fame is the new news feed
And gangster rap beef is the new comedy
Kevin Heart is the new Bill without the pill
Obama is the new Kennedy not John but Robert
Hillary will be the new President
But that's just my prediction
Even-though 49 percent of me believes a Republican is winning this election
Since they are the new donkeys and Democrats the new elephant
Orange is the new black?
.... wait...
Orange is the new black?
That's a thing of the past orange been the color for Blacks
Poets are the new rappers
Rappers are the new fathers
**** is the new medicine
No need for doctors and nurses
Money is the new God
Gold chains are the new nooses
Since every ***** want one
D'usse is the new Hennessey no need for a chase
So much new in the world but I'm still the same ol' me
Cole is the new Nas
Kendrick is the new Em
"Drake is the new great Philosopher"
But that is in the words of the Bronx borough president
Since he is the new ***** of politics
But there's only still one
Jay-z
Ball is the new life
and hoes are the new wife's
Snitches are the new thugs
K2 is the new ****
Heroine the new *******
Pills the new crack
So much new in the world and I'm still the same ol' me
Black will be the new white
Peace will be the new war
But those are just my predictions
Since we lost our self-identity through the modern age of seasoning
So much new in the world as I predict
I'll stay the same
While the environment adapts to me
never the other way around
I'll forever be me
And these voices in my head are just the curse of the talented
Times are changing for the worst. Humans valuing the wrong things but I'm an old soul and we're build better, stronger, smarter. Please my people don't give in don't change. Let the environment adapt to you. You don't change the flower when it doesn't grow you change the soil. We are the chosen ones.
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Dear Amber Rose,

El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten)
"Half naked and I'm still not asking for it" - some crazy chick

Poem begins:
You are preaching women empowerment.
Dress how you dress make your self feel ****
Even it means wear nothing while walking in the streets.
I get the motive of your movement **** Walk I guess that's what we should be teaching our daughters.
But if you're dancing on that ***** pole now that's a different story.
Tell us how many ***** you had to **** to make it to the glory.
Hard to preach to a generation that glorifies strippers and undermines knowledge.
I am so pro women but **** like **** Walk and so on are the reason we are separated
men and women segregated.
Your biggest concern is what next party you are hosting, while these young girls are all confused about their bodies getting liposuction.
Trying to be you
Trying to be you
But why? when even Wiz Kalifa depicted you as an object and didn't glorify.
***** is power between the right pair of legs.
Tell us how many motel sheets have you gotten wet.
Such a shame our ancestors probably turning in their graves. Lauryn Hill wasn't naked and sold more then Nicki, Iggy, and Kim combined.
The real definition of a role model
Guess that's why you differ
Since you're a *** model.
To ***** licious to be a runway model.
But perfect for the *** shot I want to spray up in your mouth model.
Then go kiss your son with the same lips you rocked the mic model.
Women rights is not about a dress code.
Is so much deeper but what can be expected from a stripper.

El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten).
El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten)

Sincerely,
A concerned father
I believe men and women should be considered as equals buy history has proven me wrong. There's a way to go about this fight and way way deeper than clothes and what women wear. Is what you call yourself and what you represent and how you represent it. I'm a victim of a single parent house hold and my mother never ever had to undress or degrade herself for dollars. I was born in the wrong generation this is ridiculous on how we look up to these people who really don't do anything for you. All fights and not fought fair but always fought right. Women died for this cause.
Brian Payamps Aug 2015
Poetic.....Poetic.....Poetic
Is what everybody is now
Poetic justice is what everybody brings now
Burn the city down
Poetic
Maybe then the government will listen
Everyone a revolutionary
Poetic
Posers standing on podiums
They march for peace but plant the seed
to send you to war
Posers never on the front line
Cowards afraid to die first
Poetic
Selling dreams that don't exist like those of Mr. King
Posers afraid of death
Homosexuals of war
But far from an Alexander
Far from a Ceacer but those are who they chosen to follow since they don't lead none
Poetic
We poets don't speak up
I was going to recite with my stage name
Anonymous my alter ego
My Duo persona
Poetic
But for this everyone should see the face and now the name
Of the man who pointed out the cowards
I'm not afraid of death,
Poetic
I'm not afraid of arrest
Poetic
But the bloods the crips
The nation of islam
Should had burned down
Sallie Mae
Not mom and pop shops
Poetic
Restore the damage
Restore the damage
pay your dues
Go get your 40 acres and your mule
I dream the dream but not American
Since I live my life as if I was to die
Before being immortalize
Poetic
Everyone nowadays is a revolutionary. Milking the system like it's not abouthe money. Understand I follow no one but I'm there where I need to be
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