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Are there ruins in your head?
Where I see treasures
Is there pain in your eyes?
Where I see hue lit sunsets
Is there darkness in your heart?
Where I see fear
Is there a secret in your laughter?
Where I hear tomorrows
Is there deceit in your words?
Where I see promises
Is there armoury in your arms,
Where I find comfort
Is there anything real?
Where I have built air castles
Is there hope?
In those ruins, that pain, darkness, laughter, words, arms,
all that I am hopelessly in love with
Somewhere on the way
I lost me, you lost you, but
We found each other
 Oct 2016 Brandon Richardson
taia
i remember your scent
it stained my favorite place to kiss on your neck,
and just behind your ear where you always nervously tucked your hair

i remember your flavor
the way your lips tasted like hope,
and the sweet tang of licking you off of my fingers

i remember your touch
how your palms where smooth like silk but your knuckles were hard and cracked,
and how our bodies felt when your bare skin rubbed against mine

i remember your sound
the way your morning voice resonated like you smoked two packs a day,
and how your moans were like the cries of angels

i remember the sight of you
how freckles were sprinkled across your cheeks,
and when your hair fell around your face and over your shoulders you looked a lioness

you awoke all five of my senses,
and you won't soon be forgotten
i think hell is driving through your hometown
in the middle of the night, like a ghost
you wander through the aisles
of the gas stations
hostess snacks and beef jerky
and your cold, dead hands
you picking out a pack of cigarettes
the love of your life a whole state away
never even realizing
you've been dead
this whole time
you were doomed the day you were born
until the day you die
and after that
you are here again
you drift in and out
my tiresome wilting nightmare

you are the endless haunt
of my darkest nights
the sleeping hours
soaked with raw unease

what was the point
in lusting and loving
piercing the depth of our souls
why bind ourselves
in a luscious nest
if it was waiting to fall

i lie on our barren bed
fragments of who i was
splayed on the floor
waiting for a good day
the strength to gather them all
and rebuild myself

please remove your essence
don't play me with your jangling ghost
break the chains
cast my desire to black
let my eyes
never fall on you again

leave me
in this abandoned home
to live my days in cold blood
close the unwritten chapters
let this haunting end
Liking you
Had sent me to the depths of madness.
It was when I realized this, that I felt completely sane.
Now it's midnight.
I'm writing to friends, we catch up, and laugh together.
Genuine laughter.
And I don't think of you.
These are moments of peace.
When you're not roaming the halls of my brain
Shaking the delicate equilibrium of moods.
These are moments I can breathe.
These are moments of a silent heart, and dry cheeks.
These are moments that end too quickly.
Because my heart floods with sadness when I think of your horrid beauty
Because I can't bring myself to walk away
Because you love someone else.
Because you love someone else.
Because you love someone else.
Because I can’t be that someone else,
I'm sorry ,
I know you won't care,
But,
goodbye.
Don't you call me "Friend".
Not on a suicide call.
A friendship isn't based on threats.
I am your friend,
Which is why I tell you its your choice.

I don't judge.
I don't condone.
I don't care.
It's not my life to take.
It's not my responsibility to save you.
I will not have that put on me.

And if you **** yourself,
I will care.
I will hate you.
I will loathe you.
I will call you weak.
I will not understand "what you're going through."
Because That. Is Not. An Option.

Not if you care.
But hey, it's your call.
Make a decision.
A friend called me threatening suicide. I think its one of the most selfish calls I've ever heard.  But it's their decision. They haven't spoken to me since. I don't know if she's alive or dead.
 Oct 2016 Brandon Richardson
SZ
The other day,
my friend brought up something
that happened years ago,
and it was the strangest phenomenon,
the way it felt like that
wasn't even part of my memories
because it occurred before I met you,
like I wasn't even myself
until you came along,
like my entire life is only the span
between when you came
and when you left.
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