I see the hand moving on that clock
I hear my name being mentioned
I can tell the sun is setting and darkness is rolling in
I smell the rain on the way
Hear the wind blowing leaves off the tree
I comprehend what everyone is saying

But I

I must be dead
Cause I can still feel your touch
Holding my hand
Whispering how you love me so much
As you kiss my forehead

The flashing lights
The loud sirens
Cops rolling out tape
From a distance I hear
Live on the scene where theirs one confirmed fatality

Unable to move from the brace around my head
I began to yell letting you know I'm alright
No need to cry
Just an accident and it's ok
I'm sorry about our date tonight
As they load me I believe you respond with

I'll be right behind you dear
For me not to worry
Everything will work itself out

Then I opened my eyes
Three paramedics was all I seen
Nothing would keep you from being by my side
So i must be dead
Theirs no reason why
I wouldnt feel your touch
But just in case I held back the tears
Though I already knew
I must be dead

Today makes one year
I sit in this empty house that we once shared
Doctors said I'm fully healed
Just have to live with this broken heart
I miss you

I'm just glad I got to say goodbye
You'll never know
Cause you were getting in a long limousine
That read
Just married on the back window
I was stopped at the light
When I noticed this beautiful bride coming down those stairs
She had tears in your eyes
Just like I had in mine
I asked God what did I do
You ever been happy and heartbroken at the same time
As you drove off that's when I knew

I been here all along
I was just dead to you
Never will I feel your touch
Feel your body against mine
I'll never wake up staring at you by my side
So truth be told
I might as well be
What's worth living for
If I'm dead to you

I just need one
One gun to hold one bullet
One finger to pull one trigger
One hit to to take off one side of your face
Taking your family's one chance to say goodbye away
One memory so every year I can celebrate
Maybe get me a one tear tatto
Falling off one eye of one happy man
Take one minute to pump one fist in the air
As you lay I'll take one picture
So when that one day comes that I hear your kid say he don't remember
I'll give him the chance to never forget
I just need one gun for one chance to get revenge
I lost my one son because of one man with one gun

They didn't lie
Time does fly
Yesterday had me at sixteen
Now I'm just old
Haven't been through it all
But I seen dark days
More self inflicted then not
I guess it's just life
No worse then the next
No more tears shed then you my friend
My heart breaks and the pain is the same as the rest
Don't get wrong
I had more good then bad
I love life and wouldn't change the worse of the worst
That doesn't keep me from missing a few things

How nice it would sound to hear her words
The calmness I would feel everytime she said it's going to be alright
To know the truth was being told
To see look in her eyes and see a beautiful soul
Have one last listen as she whispered
Goodnight and I love you son

The stress would fade if he was here
Hard to breakdown from the weight of the world
When he has me laughing at the world
My biggest fan who refused to let me say no I can't
My idol and best friend
A teacher who taught with actions
To be cliche
They will never be another like him
My brother left way to soon
I pray one day my son turns out to be just like him

If I could I would sit for hours without being in a rush
Born a man
You clocked more hours then ten men in three life spans
Took care of people and helped raise more kids then anyone will ever know
Life threw you some hard hits but never left your feet
You looked up to true grit John Wayne
I looked up to you John Wayne

I could go on cause theirs alot more I reminisese about
But theirs always something that tops them all
This time its
Us
I miss you and me
I miss your touch and your lips pressing against mine
Waking up next to you after falling asleep holding you tight
Your smile and the sound of your laugh
I want to go back to putting us first
I want them to refer to us as them
I miss you , I miss me
I miss us

A soul hurting
A heart wanting to give
Thoughts to be shared
Yet walking alone
On back dark streets
A few online friends
No real conversations
Could all be lies
Not that it matters
Enjoys any interaction
Mentally stable but still argues with hisself

While you laugh
He's dying inside
Afraid to reach out
For the world has teased so much
He Quit asking for help
When loved ones kept passing by without slowly up
How can he speak up
When his first words fell on deaf ears
His whole childhood
Thought his dad was playing hide and seek
Finally gave up
But his heart still waits
Dreams still exist to him
To mean alittle to anybody
Would be heaven to him

Heaven as in the sky
The sky where his mom is
Died during birth
She went home and he went from home to home
Abused in state care
Abused in foster care
At fifthteen he ran from away from that life
The pain, the heartache, the lies
Knew he had to change
Easiest decision he ever made
Two streets down from Orange Ave
He found a few trees and set up camp
Not a house we would say is glamorous
For him it's the best home he's ever lived in