my head spins, and I forget
nausea creeps in
before each sunset.

children age, and pictures grow old
speaking of stories
repeated, told.

empty heart, empty stomach
gasping void nocturne.

the past imprinted on my mind
like old lighter burns.

pain, joy and memories unfold
who I used to be seemed so simple
before my heart turned cold.

darkness coating old shoe prints,
fossilized by mud, a modern relic.

the steady pitter-patter of footsteps falling,
drawn forward, hurried

by the silent calling.

labored breath,
as beads of sweat
trickle down reddened cheeks.

tightness in my chest,
struggling to breathe.

But

I never want to stop

chasing this feeling.

sprinting forward blind,
my feet cracked and bleeding.


no destination, no plan

just the sensation of gripping
my bare toes in the sand.

or feeling the concrete beneath my soles
as I rush head first

towards everything unknown.

for when I stop
I lose the rush

palour coats my fading flush.

for the moment, it's relieving
to catch my breath

enjoy the moment
of silence in my steps

or the quell of my frantic heart beating.

yet the world continues
shift through time

I mustn't stay long

or I'll leave myself behind.

blackness surrounds in charcoal billows,
sleepless stillness
head laid upon pillow.

isolation creeps,
though I prayed its beckon no sooner.

drifting through the limitless, barren lacuna.

metanoia of myself, induratized my mind.
though a beast, rantipole and restless
rages inside.

a quest irenic, and chaotic the same.
two sides of the same coin,
acceptance, and blame.

both
love and hate,
gorged and hollow.

cloaked over every
white pill I swallow.

to go to bed at night,
and awake with morning day.

is it to rerun through
the monotonous cycle I've built?

or to quietly keep me sane?

I live in a world all my own
inside my head
through fantasy, I roam.

One of magic, heroes, and might.
One of darkness, clouds, and endless flight.

I could lay in bed and dream my life away
no wish or want for the reality of the day.

Realism pushes through my blinds at sunrise,
reminding me I need to wake,
and live my dull, mortal life.

I depart from my dreams with trembling breath, goodbye.

Until I return to dance with my thoughts at night.

the sun she hides,
cease the birdsong call
the leaves frozen, frail
fall.

the darkness long,
quiet river weeps
silence but scurry, settle
sleep.

lay still to rest,
flaxen unfold
dying carefully, cautious
cold.