Shivers travel my body as
the temperature of the room starts to drop.
I've come to a realization that I'm scared to voice.
Got company over, one that I didn't invite.
A guest that can't stop babbling in the morning,
afternoon or the middle of the night.
I'm afraid it's the only one that has been coming around lately,
can't remember when I gave them a key.
Part of me doesn't want to change the lock, so
I don't end up all alone so I set up the table and shake hands
with the darkest of thoughts.
Let it haunt me at night
and freak me out on my way to work.
Curse my loved ones out and convince me
to leave everything behind,
'Cause I'm not worthy of their love.
When will I realize that bad company
it's not better than no one at all?
- occupier.

She felt too many things, so many
she couldn't manage to process it all
so her brain was often flooded with
overwhelming thoughts of how everything
could go wrong until she couldn't manage
to think anything at all.
- saturated.

We took quiet steps down a lonely street
I had never stepped foot in before.
The air felt tense since it was
more than clear that you didn't feel
like talking, not anymore.
You stopped suddenly and backed me
against a wall.
We made out slowly whilst I felt
an old lady watching us from her
front steps, maybe I was just imagining her
since it was time for me to go,
I had to meet up with my friends.
Two steps forward and you stopped again
looking at me with a shy smile and
intertwined our hands.
My palms were sweaty and my rings
poked at your skin but you insisted that
you didn't care.
It was also the last time
we held hands.
- hand holding.

Heavy breaths bounce in the corners of my room
while tears stream down my face as I wonder
what's the reason this time around.
In the back of my mind, I know for sure
why it's 1am and I can't sleep again.
It's scary to say it out loud.
I pull up my phone to distract my brain
since it seems like it can't keep quiet but
all the images remind me that I
don't have anyone to call to ask them
to help me out.
Even my dog leaves quietly towards
my parents' bedroom even though they
haven't got home yet.
I don't start to calm down until
these words make their way
into the notes on my phone.
I can breathe again.
- panic attack.

You didn’t like
the mole on your chin.
You used to say it was
too prominent for
your face and how you disliked
that it contrasted with
your freckled cheeks.
But I thought that
your cheeks were
like a galaxy and
your chin had
the moon.
It’s the first thing I
noticed when
I realized
I liked you.
- face like a universe.

Your mouth spills
nothing more than
empty promises.
Said you'll be here tonight
but don't get in 'till
four in the morning.
Always busy but never for
yourself, could you stop
lying straight to my face?
Tired of the excuses people
make on your name, can't even
defend yourself or it's just
that you don't care?
Looking really foolish with
the indifference that you're so
sure I deserve after you left me
waiting to see if this could change.
It didn't.
- selfish.

Please set me free anxiety,
I'm sick and tired of the
sleepless nights that without a
reason you think I deserve.
Please set me free anxiety,
I don't want to keep on
overthinking every thought again
and again.
Please set me free anxiety,
I don't think I have any more
tears left to cry over simple things.
Please set me free anxiety,
I don't want to give you the
power to make me stop and wonder if I
deserve the things I've been wanting
for so long.
Please set me free anxiety,
It's time for me to learn
how to breathe again without caring
what you have to say.
The pity party is over,
go home.
- emotionally drained.