I never knew,
it could hurt this much.
Feeling so lost,
and so out of touch.

I break the surface,
but get pulled back down.
My will to struggle,
fights my desire to drown.

Every day, it's tortured thoughts,
of memories we made.
Now I know, that they're all false,
and my sanity simply fades.

So now the question is the gun or pills,
the razor blade or rope?
Each day, the idea makes more sense,
as I'm slowly losing hope.

If I could just be thrown away,
what use could I be?
And if I see you with him,
I'll lose my sanity.

The dreams are the worst.
because they're still happy you see.
For just a moment, when I wake up,
you're still lying next to me.

Then the walls, come crashing down,
and the memories rush in.
I have to relive everything,
again, and again, and again.

Then it's once again the gun or pills,
the rope or razor blade,
as I traverse the life we built,
and the emptiness you made.

This could be purgatory,
or it really could be hell,
but if there is a difference,
then I simply cannot tell.

I just want the pain to end,
no matter what it takes,
because no one should have to live,
feeling they're a mistake.

I simply can't take it,
my heart hurts inside my chest.
I tried to be a good man,
but I failed to do my best.

So now it's just a choice,
I just have to choose the way.
I've finally found some happiness,
cause this pain will end today.

I'm Sorry

A thousand way to love
A thousand people to fall in love with
I chose the one that was most unlikely
i chose the one that, i knew in the end, will destroy me

A thousand pretty girls
A thousand you could have easily had
but it was me who chose you
and it was me who loved you back

A thousand roads
A thousand options
not a single one
that will lead me to you

A thousand pain
A thousand reasons to give up
Love has limits
heart know nothing of

A thousand tears
A thousanf relieves
I have got them all
but without you, I have nothing

**A thousand star-crossed-lovers writing
a thousand poems in this moment
One of them is me,
my muse being you, always

forgive the sun
its jealousy
unlike you
it only shines for half the day

I can feel
her absence,
like swallowing
a cold
knife. 

The blade 
slices slowly,
deeper
with each
heartbeat.  
Tasting 
sorrow
like copper. 

A cold
steel shard
that rests
against
my heart. 

But will it cut?
Can you still bleed?
Do you love?