I.
People leave huge
Holes in your spine.

II.
But flowers die,
Crumbling deaths,
For one heartwarming
Moment.

III.
An empty skull;
Suffocating... thoughtless breaths.
Trembling feet as I walk among the dead,
Are you afraid?

IV.
I'm afraid.

V.
"Unattainable"
What a throne I slouch upon.

The thing about the life you've had
Is that there's no edit button
So think twice and act once

Thoughts racing through my head
How did we start up
in love and end up here
You said you loved me
and I believed you
Seems like you don't
even mean what you say.

You were all that I wanted
I fell in love with all
of your heart and your soul
From that moment couldn't imagine
You ever hurting me or mistreating my love
I should have known

I thought you’d be easy to forget,
but I still haven’t accomplished it yet.
See, the cigarette smoke didn’t flush you from my lungs,
like I hoped it would
because it seemed you were a part of every breath I took.
You had consumed every part of me,
and the alcohol didn’t wipe your name from my memory.
I wanted so desperately to forget; I still do
because the days are becoming harder to get through.
I wanted the burn of the alcohol that settled in my throat,
to form a protective coat
so that anytime I said your name,
all I remembered was that you were to blame.
I want your name to only remind me of the bad memories
because I’m slowly losing what’s left of me.
I wanted something so different for us,
but I didn’t account on you breaking my trust.
So now I’m desperately trying to forget,
the good, the bad, the moments I did nothing but fret;
about you, me, us
and what was supposed to be unbreakable trust.
For now I’ll keep looking for something that’ll work,
something that will temporarily numb the hurt.

I just can't let you go
Even if you've *let me go

lately I've been spinning in
circles and counting calendar
days like your kisses, you don't
know what I've been
up to, last week I went to my own
funeral.

everybody was dressed a hell of a lot like
me, all black and black and
cobwebs, crying into their
hands so hard it seemed like a collective
effort to break the world
open.

you weren't
there, I touched everybody's
face but you weren't
there, it took me only two
minutes to figure out where you'd
be.

her hands were gripped around the back of your
neck like a noose, lying in your
bed, still covered with a ton of my stray
hairs that had fallen out last
time you swore you'd try to be
gentle.

when she said your
name i imploded in on myself like a chemical
war, all the bones in my body trying to get
out. did you tell her you loved her,
too?

I took some of my stray
hair and stuck it to your
back, if she took as much time on you as
I did she'll find it soon
enough, and I hope she
does. I hope
she breaks you. I hope
you wake up and she's
gone so that you know what
hurt tastes like. I hope
you lose her as quickly as I lost
you, and you can't drag yourself out of all the
rot she leaves behind on your bedroom
floor.

I hope she doesn't go to your
funeral, because I sure as hell am
not.