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Autece Soul Sep 2016
I wake up from a deep period of dormancy
Still in the state of inactive
I'm tired
My mind
My head
Promises of something pleasing
I want to go back to bed
Slumber a harmonious dream promised to me
By the crashing waves and the deep blue sea
Playing arms reach away from my inner speakers
Is what I was alleged to believe
While balancing the periodic grind of various complexities
And integrity
Is what is being interpret when the sound of falling water
Collides with the mud floor to clear my soul
Of corrupted expositions
External negativity to drive the insane to sanity for eternity
I raise my head away from my pillow
Eyes wide facing the clouded abyss
Depression begins to reign as my eyes become burdensome
Tiredness has not conquered these irises
As my last catching thoughts before I awoke
Keep me from such a trance
What is in your head?
The question of the day asked by inquisitive beings
It's nothing good I promise
Knowing will not aid you more than it is tormenting me
My face trickles with alacrity and overflowing love
A mask
A degradation
Causing such excruciating pain
My scars
Deep-seated wounds that seem to never want to disappear
Like a haunting figurine hovering over me oh so gently
What is it’s intentions?
It’s purpose
No response
To eradicate me?
It's succeeding
To manipulate me?
Such as how I have done
Perfected the deconstruction of others’ mind
Forever becoming a puppet to my own dark twisted fantasy
Entrapping those of desired tongues who seek my insight
Not of my experience but of what is being pertain in my reflections
For I am endlessly adrift in my own head
With my imagination
My dreams
They besiege me
Terrify me
Wake me up in the midst of the night
With no air in my lungs
With no liquid substance in my eyes
Drying them
Turning red
Not from tears that would gracefully roll down my rugged cheek
From an illusion my mind has formed to feel as it is my reality
A reality distorted as my walking is on air away from ground
I half sleep and fall into a trance of brightly vivid colors
And disturbed figurines
Marionettes who accompany me through a hued path
Where time becomes stagnant
Motionless yet an evolving shifted world
I saunter through the path until I gradually dissolve
As my head
Promises me of something pleasing
But my mind
Is tormented
Returning to a state of inactive
My eyes
Finally tired
As I return to a deep period of dormancy
Going back to bed
Awaiting for my next abrupt awakening
Autece Soul Aug 2015
Perfecting the Art of Illusions
I've been told I am a Mystery
A rare commodity
A secret jewel intrigued by my glistering ways
That's good
A blimp I will remain
As my inner thoughts relieve my convoluted brain
But what am I thinking?
Is the question from a thousand tongues
And like a thousand suns
My words burst with molten magma
Melting your mind to a liquid mesh
No longer having a being
Eyes blinded by the over bearing rays
No longer seeing
Shouts from the thousand acres earthquake
No longer hearing
Only a touch remains
To feel a chocolate covered artifact
Formed by the selfish cell fish
Fighting the class of the sea fish
Autece Soul Jul 2014
If I left the world
Would I still be forgotten?
Would the one I love the most
Finally hear my call?
Shaking at the thought of sudden darkness
My Soul black as a corpse rotting under earth
Nature eating away the flesh of a broken Soul
Is there a place for such a being?
My hands quiver with the thought of being forgotten
My breath stricken by the choking of a dead Love
Lungs turning blue with loss of air and yet
With one last breath
I still say
I love you
Fear of Being Forgotten by Autece Soul is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Autece Soul Jul 2014
I open up to you
My Deepest and Darkest thoughts
Gloom was my mind in the thick mist of depression
Awaken was the beast of endless tears
The sorrow of always living in fear
Having an open heart
Subsumes the probability of a broken Soul
Pieces shatter of ice so thin
So cold it makes the flesh
As it travels within the cracks of the pulsating muscle
So red and pure
Lively and pulsing
Transiting life in the form of little oval hopes
Peaceful as they move in motion
Rhythm as they move with stride
Knowing they are keeping the body alive
The cold turns blue
Blue is the gloom
Blue is my favorite color
The blue of cold Souls freezing what is giving me life
The blue freezes
Motionless is my body
Silent is my heart
Can you hear it?
No longer is it alive
Yet I am still breathing
My eyes fixated at a wall that has been torn
Trust has won the war to break these walls
And now deception reigns through my veins
Black as death as it poisons my skin
Revealing to the outer world a broken-hearted fool
You fool
You complete *****
I look for comfort only to realize I am alone
Alone in a world where so much care about you?
How is that possible?
When the one you care about the most
Is not there
Does not hear you calling
Does not feel your pain
Loneliness resides
And darkness rises
And my life
Is now an everlasting crisis
A Frozen Heart by Autece Soul is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Autece Soul Jul 2014
I miss her more and more as the sun rises and the moon fades
Slowly she creeps in my mind like a plague infecting my brain
Eating away all thoughts I have created
Only to be consumed by her image
A black storm as it rains down my sorrow
As my smile only hides the pain within
For I will not lay my problems to yours
Therefore you will be blind to my suffering
And fall victim to illusions I portray in front of you
Not knowing if it is wizardry performed by a warlock
With a keen knowledge of the dark arts
Of who must not be named
Or is it all just smoke and mirrors
A fake grin as I trick your mind of my felicity state
Or lack thereof
Invisible as the oxygen we breathe from the trees of nature
As I stare out my window to see a palm tree
That does not belong in the lonesome desert
Only to share its sympathy as I feel I do not belong
To a place where love is cynical and mediocre
Where love means to be physically bounded
I search for a mental connection
As I have with a Being greater than me
Yet when I look for it
I am alone left in my own cataclysm
Drowning in the abyss of a decrepit heart
Flooded by the gates of grimaced faces
As I slowly close my door to my own emotions
And embrace a meaningless melancholy to fulfill others' happiness
When I connect to one mate who shines as bright as the moon
She fades just as such when the physical bond is no more
When the dark energy of negativity subsumes the thoughts of serenity
Then there I lose her
And for me
I am left to think about her
As the sun sets and the moon shines from the darkness
And once again I begin to miss her
More and more
Autece Soul Jul 2014
She was an exotic creature
A true one of a kind
Pure pleasure for the wondering eyes
And the hopeful spirits
And the truthful souls
A goddess is an understatement
For the mighty Zeus cannot obtain such beauty
And with her it is truth when they say beauty is beneath skin
For her Soul and Mind were radiant with life
Vivid such as the orchards in fall
And a body awaken from the spring’s slumber
An alien girl from the third rock
Understand the metaphor as her presence has no ID
A mystery only to me
For previously I was too blind to see her inner truth
Brace your minds for this story has just been intertwined
With my sorrow for losing such a being
A fool finally awaken after the departure was too late
Puzzled, Dazed and Confused was of my own construction
As I slowly rebuild the soon to be my own destruction
Shattered heart
Shattered soul
A broken will for such a Fool's rush of gold
The treasure of seeking independency
No longer being held down by a man's woman pulling the string
Stopping me from hanging with the homies...
But the joke was on you
So you were too caught up with your own self pity
Drinking the fluids from Mount Look at Me I'm Boring
Gaining kilo after kilo in front of the interactive TV screen
Until you became repulsive to be attracting
But through her Moon struck eyes, you were beautiful
Yet distracted by the less important you detached
In hopes you can distract her Love for you
But look at her fool
Her love ran deep within your veins
Your Heart succumbed by her lengthy hands
She was not going anywhere
So drastically and bold was your next move
That at the end
It became your own demise
Your own heartbreak
Your own anger
You no longer trusted her and as such abandoned her
Forcing her to go back home to start a new
Not giving her the chance to show just how much she loved you
You made her bare pain
You made her lonely
It was only a matter of time before her heart went down the drain
And by the time you wanted her back in your life
She already moved on
And found another man to make her gain
The life you chose to run away from
Happiness, Joy, Humor, Prosperity
And most important
Eternal Love…
You fool
Autece Soul Jul 2014
Tell my love the words that I am afraid to speak
From the waves of the ocean to the highest mountain peak
Expressed as my nature stays at a constant bliss
Fluent in the way I am able to entertain this
Your melody as it wraps a warm cloth to my heart
Protecting from all that dare to tear us apart
It flows, a strum of a string as it echoes afar
From the pedestal arose the goddess to shine as the star
As she shares her beauty with the world all to enjoy
Listen to her hum as her voice does not annoy
Rather it uplifts the soul as you feel the keys descend
From the stroke of the pianist to the bittersweet end
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