Hard is a life you feel out of place in
You slide into the spaces but there are gaps along the edges

You almost fit
You've mastered the art of almost
You are the man behind the camera
Inspecting your life and trying to get the perfect shot
Commanding the things that don't fit against the backdrop of all your insecurities

Tilt
Lift
Squeeze
Freeze
/flash/
There, almost

Chin up
Back Straight
Smile
Freeze
/flash/
There, almost

Quiet down
Be careful
Not too fast
Freeze
/flash/
There, *almost

Well misery loves
Company and luckily
I am always free

The barbed wire in my chest
Pokes and prods with each halting breath

Nothing is easy anymore
With it sitting there
Unwinding slowly

It rakes its claws against my insides
Around my bones
Into my lungs

Any sudden movement
Any risk
Any chance
Digs it only deeper

There is no room for error in this body of mine
I am a walking keep out fence

When you meet someone you know could swallow you whole
You have two options

One:
Jump into their mouths
Make their teeth your roof
and their tongue your bed
Hang on their every word
Roll with the waves of their words
Let their hot breath shape your being
Fall down their throat into their hot belly
You have no home but here
Outside is no place for you now


Two:
Run as far away as your can from the gaping cave
Plug your ears against the siren call of their voice
Do not let the inhale of their lungs pull you
Do not be small enough that they could fit you inside
Stand on your own
They are no place for you

The biggest tragedy in this life is when
extraordinary things become ordinary

Not because their sparkle dulls
or because they refuse to shine

But because we have taken
their beauty for granted

It is a little death to be sure

I think I would not mind if I were not me
To be me is an awfully taxing thing to be
I live and I breathe
I hear and I see
I am grateful to live and breath
Hear and see
But I wouldn't mind all that much
If I could just be

Like the wind or a tree
Being just to be

Yes I think it would suit me
To just be