I wrote a story
somewhat less than swell but you
read it to the end.

21/5/19
7:09 PM

there's a thin white line
between "glad because of it"
and "sad without it"

If i had to write on this, he said

                                    "I'd write it about you."

Sometimes, I miss the person I thought he was...

Sometimes...

Im dizzy and tired
My head is pounding
I'm ready to explode
I feel like i'm drowning.

Sometimes...

I'm awake and energetic
My feet are flying
I can't keep away the smile
I just don't feel like crying.

I really hate it when I can't cry
Or when I feel like crap
And I can't complain about it
I really hate this feeling
Of not feeling.
I want to scream
But why would I?
Why yell for no reason?
Why would you even try?
Can't even think of a reason to
Do anything...anymore.

They say your past lovers
shape your future tastes,
and I'd be fraught with a dilemma
if it were true,
because I cannot afford to love
another man like the last two.

The words that I speak,
are they my own?
Or do I try to hide?
things unknown....

Do I at times,
even make sense?
Or, when I say I'm fine
is it all a pretense?

Do I even wish
to be understood?
Maybe not, because
I know, I never would...