Husky honey-whispers
escape her lips like smoke.
My stomach goes all hurly-burly
and I forget how to use my hands.

I bite my tongue. I bite my lip. My eyes implode.
I imagine I blappity-zap  
a-twistin' and a-turnin' into some 1940's cartoon fella
hair black and slicked back,
heart poppin' out my chest like an alarm clock.
All I can do is stand around, pretending I'm not
getting drunk, just by – staring
at her.

She can't see me like I see her.

I want to stomp up on the dining table,
then burn the kitchen sink down

and scream ******* to the land and sky
for making her and I
as things not made for each other.

She plays around with her mouth on mine.
She holds me like a sister, and kisses me like a pet.
I melt with every moment I get.
She will never love me.

Sitting there, by the candle light ,
You start to write,
First time in awhile you begin to feel okay,
Each day slowly finding your way,
Trying always to have a positive word to say,

A clear head,
Remembering everything she has said,
Puts a smile on your face,
This girl you would never replace,
Happiness runs through you,
This feels like a new you,

Physically alone,
but her heart your own,
although you never write anything in stone,

She knows the real you,
The bad, the good, the fake, the true,
You see her flaws,
But still look in awe,

This girl gives you a positive feeling,
She helps you in every step of healing,
Every word with a sincere meaning,
Morning, noon and every evening.

You are peppermint:
Red hair, green eyes, white skin
peppered with polka dots.

And I, a pagan, passive and pathetic,
whose paramour is a ******* paladin
with a perfect face, parted pout and
perfumed persecution, perpetuated by
parliamentary parents who prevent you from prospering.

And I have to pitch a poker face
Pretend that your painted pair of lips pressed on my cheek
do not paralyze me, peach turned pink
over a precious peck.

So what is the purpose behind your pretense?
The pointless promiscuity, part time passion,
and I'm patient--
but god--
let me pamper you, pageant-curls princess,
forget the prestige in your pedigree,
let this penniless pauper into your palace.

You are picturesque, purely portrait-worthy,
But your painted claws perforated my paper skin,
and all I wanted was to make you purr.


*(but I don't have a *****)

I think of you and more than one way:
Largely, I am sad for you.
You are caged, a phoenix with inability to fly,
and when granted freedom, you are going to shoot straight up,
fly into the stratosphere,
and finally, paired with the sun
(your element)
its golden rays will kiss your feathers
and you will mirror its brightness and flames,
igniting in a flash of brilliant light and heat,
over almost as instantly as it began.
Icarus girl, let me be your sea.
I will catch you, cool the burns,
push you to the shore.

A small part of me,
the part of me that has pushed me from you,
(because I will always respect your boundaries)
craves you.
I want to see your beauty when you peak,
see sunshine radiating from every inch of
your pearlescent skin.

And I wish I can taste your lips, kiss you so sweetly
and part of me is in love with you
all I want is for you to allow me to bring you paradise

I closed my eyes today
The wind was blowing
And the sun was bright as ever
Your favorite type of day
And in that moment I thought of you again
Could you feel the warmth of life
Did you decide to live?
Are your eyes closed
Arms out stretched
Palms to the gods
Can you feel what its like to live
Without me
Without you
Today was a good day
Without you