'They walked naked, all around in proud.
I sat covered, quiet and with shame.
To think I was better, for not doing the same.'

First time in a locker room of the gym,
Being the only one not brave enough to reveal
how I was truly born. Giving myself the
excuse of 'being better'. What nonsense my
friend said. You don't have to be shy.
But shy, I was not. It was something else,
a kind of fear of myself, I think.

'Stick your feet in solid ground.
Haunting ghosts you had bound;
creep through that rustic land.
All like your dreams had planned.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Just a thought of loneliness.'

'I see no sense in being
something, I dream about to be.
I rather be here in reality.'

'I can puke out all of
who I am
but I will never be
purged.'

'The butterflies you gave me
have found their way to get inside my head.
They keep pounding on my skull
with their delicate wings.
My own thoughts are being bitten,
failing to see all the colors they wear.
You gave me these poisoned butterflies,
did you even noticed to who you gave them?
They keep spinning around my brain,
whispering melanchonic words.
As I grow, they start to die,
death butterflies laying around my mind.
Others filling me with new colors to look upon
and beautiful sounds to listen to.
As I keep closing my eyes, I see those empty
butterflies, as lost memories just being there.
And I realized I always blamed you,
for leaving me with this sight.
But the blame was not on you, mother, I know.
You gave me these pretty butterflies not knowing you
were poisoned by the life you had to live.
And as I learned to accept the you is me,
I'll blame myself for hearing that echo of those
pounding wings some days still.'

''Many asked me why I would sit
in the corner of a room full of people.
That it is the reason the feeling
of loneliness overpowered my soul.
And as I was telling I had never
seen the corner of the room,
they had forgotten about me.''