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I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know
 May 2020 anna
Austin Morrison
I woke up
With a clear head
For the first time in two months
not hiding underneath my pillowcase
For once
I knew what I wanted
And it wasn’t you
For once
I knew I couldn’t keep doing this,
Seeing you
Promising pure intentions
And ending with you curled up naked beside me

You can not make love where there is no love

And I no longer desire you.

For the repercussions have finally pushed me over the edge

I know what I want

And it isn’t you.
I was scrolling through my phone and found something i had wrote and not remembering when i wrote it. It must have been late at night and i just didn't remember. There were lot of bad mistakes and random words before i went through it though.
 May 2020 anna
Austin Morrison
For every response left unread.
For every thought trapped in my head.
For the way you make me feel.
Decrypt if it's fake or if it's real.

It's hard to explain a feeling you don't quite know yourself.

Understanding your own mind can be tricky sometimes.

We don't quite know each other yet, despite that fact.

I still feel comfortable to talk to you.

 it feels like we have already had a wonderful first date, a romantic second, and our third wasn't the best but we are both don't care because we are spending it together.

 It makes me nervous, not knowing if you imagine the same thing.

That's why I panic when I talk to you, not knowing if the thing I just said was good enough.

so I say something new before you can type back, and believing that isn't good enough so I repeat the cycle.

Becoming stuck in a whirlpool of my own anxiety and overthinking, just because I don't want to miss my chance at that bad third date.

I don't want to miss the chance to stare at you, on a night not going as planned, but still being able to smile when I look at you.

I'm sorry I'm not good at talking, but I promise you would enjoy my rambling and awkwardness if you gave it a shot.
Another midnight poem I have found on my phone.
 May 2020 anna
Hermann Hesse
How heavy the days are.
There's not a fire that can warm me,
Not a sun to laugh with me,
Everything bare,
Everything cold and merciless,
And even the beloved, clear
Stars look desolately down,
Since I learned in my heart that
Love can die.
 Feb 2020 anna
Hamza Ali
You
 Feb 2020 anna
Hamza Ali
You
Everlasting madness,
distinctive chaos,
yet I still crave you more.
 Feb 2020 anna
Sylph
Art therapy
 Feb 2020 anna
Sylph
I decided to draw today
to let her out
my demons been getting restless
The words I long to say
they just
Wont come out
So now
Im turning to a visual
Spill of words

That puts everything aside
Disconnecting everything in my brain
Letting my hands take control
The pencil
To freely dance across the page
To let out whatever needs to be free
That I cant see

Letting the thoughts
The pictures
The words
That I have never seen heard or felt
to come out
Be free

— The End —