Mad girl wonders why
She recalls a lover's toes
Instead of his smile

Humming birds don't come
Around my house anymore
But it is April
So I sit by the window
And look outside in mad hope

I reminisce too much.
Besides, what else is there to do?
Remnants of the past, fragments
Still squirming in my conscience

In some vague room
A flicker of my smile, a candle, a black robe
And my button down shirt
Laid across the floor for you to step on
And you carefully tip toed
To catch me in time, but I wasn't falling

The seasons have passed exceedingly slowly
But now, I am smiling again
My nights are somehow less tormented

It is beautiful today and I have things to do
But before I leave and conquer the week
I pause, if only for a moment, in this sun lit room

I touch the French window
And leave you behind, one last time
Like shabby finger prints on unstained glass

It was another graveyard shift
And I stood by your little bed
Thinking of what you had said
My love, my darling boy
What I wouldn't give, to see you smile
Bear with me honey when I'm always gone
When I mutter and curse with an endless frown
And I will do this and more
For us, in this wretched town

Yours was only a hand, delicate and gentle.
Mine was only a waist, never pampered by touch or love.
It was but a silly heart, pounding against my chest.
It was only a kiss, under the stars, in the pouring moonlight.

She moved like she was gliding through the star studded skies.
Her feet transitioning softly, but precise like a flame.  
Swaying to the rhythm like a laced  scarf pinned to a line, in the strong winds of April.
Her hand in mine, so delicately firm, her eyes beaming with the unmistakable sparkle of love.
She danced on, looking at me with a smile that could make dead plants bloom.
So I held her, through her love affair with the waltz.

I want to put my hands in my pockets, like I always do
And find notes from him saying "I love you."
I want sitting on a park bench
Knowing that the vast silences between us
Mean more than empty words
I want walking on the beach wrapped in one blanket
And holding hands on strange busy streets

I want intellectual conversations at midnight
And long love letters when we are apart
I want sitting at a table and knowing love still leaks
From the corners of my lips
I heard you when you said
"Well honey, that's a lot to ask for."
But I want an ocean to drown in
Puddles won't do anymore