Your laugh.
The big one.
The loud one.
The "I'm at home laugh."

Not the quiet, public laugh;
the polite titter for
dinner with aquantances.

I want the big throated, down deep laugh.

I want your breathless whispers against my neck.

I want one of those hugs you give me when you mean it. The desperate embrace.

I want minutes. All of them... to soak up the seconds as the thirsty are nourished by dewdrops.

I will love all of the sadness and uncertainy  and anxiety.
These are minutes too.
I wish I'd been better, sooner.

I've loved you so much for so long it feels like all of the love that ever was
Over the course
Of forever.

I love you so much that I wish I had a unique word.
A language singularity
that was only for you.
A word that I didn't have to share with shampoo commercials and free lunches and other people.

I (_) you with all my heart. Know that. On this, the fakest of all holidays,
Tha one that you hate the most,
Please know that I ( ) you.

Can't anybody see that I'm just a mess? A blue haired freak wonderin' the streets. Cigarertte in hand, blasting my bands and could give less of a **** about what you think.

I still fantasize over you, every night, i fall asleep thinking about you.
Your eyes, your hands, your lips and the color of your skin.

I fantasize over you, in a chastest and most prudish way.
I imagine your eyes on me and your heavy breath.

I visualize your movements in my head,
The way you're walking and your presence which no one can deny.

In my dreams i remember your body, your arms.
In my dreams  i can smell your perfume.
And this smile, oh lord this smile...

I still hear your voice which play in my head like a melody but your words cut as a knife.

You cut my heart in hundreds pieces, and you throw them in the deeps of the ocean with your darkest secrets.

All i wanted was to fix you but you choose to break me instead.

Write a man a poem he will feel appreciated and flattered
Write a boy a poem and he will shut you down and leave you tattered
Tell a man you love him, he'll say it back with truth
Tell a boy you love him, he'll use it as a gateway to rip off your clothes
Show a man affection, He'll respect you forever
Show a boy affection and to him it will never matter
Spend your money on a man, oh wait a man doesn't want you to do that
However a boy will strip you of everything you've ever had
The difference between a man and a boy is a great one indeed
A man will cherish you forever
While a boy will take what he wants and then leave

the sad truth is
so many people are in love and
not together

and

so many people are together
and not in love

Don't ever let a boy trick you into falling in love.
Don't ever let a boy trick you into falling in love.
Don't ever let a boy trick you into falling in love.

I hate you
I hate the way you smile
I hate the way your hair looks in the morning
I hate your smirks and dazzling eyes
I hate that you make me nervous
I hate that you're always trying to figure me out
I hate that you notice the little things about me
I hate that you care about me
I hate that you know about me

because now I crave your affection

I hate how you ignore me for hours
I hate that you tell me all about her
I hate everything about you

And maybe that's why I hate myself so much
I've become so attached that I fear I am no where near good enough