i lean into the Depths of my Counterpane.
the White lives of soldiers Float around Me
crying whispers Hide in the dark Shadows
frozen Bullets cry along the Gusts Of wind
rivers filled With ice Flow Along the banks
dancing Feelings trot towards The melted Dreams
and in Sorrow thoughts Come the Thawing memories
of Fire and Hail covered in black And white Slush
-------------------------------------------------------

W a i t i n g .
W
       a
     i
           t
    i
           n
     g
          .
Patiently.
Throwing things at the wall.
Fiddling thumbs.
Breaking glass.
Tapping foots.
Mind breaking stress.
    g
            n
  i
            t
  i
        a
W
W a i t i n g .

The truth is
in the end it all turns to ashes.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Oh, hello.
I can see you,
reading my poem.
Well, not really.
But I can project it from my mind
and see you scrolling down my page
or your home screen
or whatever page you see
and roll your eyes at this poem
and possibly click the like button.
Or read it,
then keep scrolling
because you thought it was bad
or you didn't like it
or whatever reason.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Oh, goodbye.

Twinkling stars shine
brightly in the cloudy sky
dancing by the moon.

Though the stars do die,
others take their place in the
cloudy moonlight sky.

When the stars die they
fall to the earth like a flame
then crash. Stars now dull.

So that is how the
cycle goes: Shine, fall, crash, die.
But new stars can form

i wish that
i could fly
away, away
from this place
from all the hopes and dreams
that circle this world.

i find pain
in those words
as the angel lifts me
from me darkened
perch. she lifts me
into the light
from my pain

from the darkened world
i breath in the light
realizing i was
holding a breath in
for thousands of years

i held my breath
for a long, long time  
now a light engulfs me,
turns me into something new

the dark perch far behind,
i freeze
this isn't me
i am living a life of lies
all these thousands

i grab the wing
on my shoulder
i take the feather
and drape it on my wrist
the red covers my arm

i look and see myself
once again, for the last time
my face pale, eye wide

*good bye

The numbers.
They shine a small light on a dimming day.
Make my face break out in a smile.

The numbers.
Those **** numbers are the shining moonlight.
Those **** numbers are the suffering sunlight.
Those **** numbers can dim my day to darkness.

Those numbers.

T h o s e    n u m b e r s .

Am I violent,
Because you assume I am?
Is that really me?

Hopefully by the next year I'll love you
Hopefully by next week I'll find you
Hopefully. Hopefully. Hopefully.
That word spins, dances in my head.
I can't trust it, though
It sends strange feels through me
I believe it is hope.
But I can't trust it.

See, I don't have any friends.
I don't have a family.
I don't have anyone in my life.
Or...At least that I love

Hopefully by tomorrow, you'll love me too

they say "stop"
i say "what"

Profanity is such a strange thing.
They scream its name, but I can't dream of not waking up and muttering,
"oh ****"

"stop it" they scream
"stop what" i scream back, my words hitting their cheeks.

Profanity is such a strange thing.
I mutter to the air, sun, moon
"oh ****"

i guess their scared of the truth behind some words
that mutter themselves over and over.

Profanity is such a strange thing.

The fire is red as blood. I watch the flames go up in the air as I taste the sadness of the people whose houses have burnt to the ground. I turn back, but all I hear is the bursting and explosion of flames.

I sit in the dark
Shivering, freezing.
I curl up in a ball
Hungry.
Cold. Thirsty. Tired.
Words are dancing in my head.
I'm been here for
minutes, hours, days,
weeks, months, years

Words.
You
You did this to me
I thought you loved me
I trusted you

I cough. I taste coper.
Light peeks through
You come in my
Cage, my shell, my mind, my life
*help me

Her
He looked at me from across the room
My heart was pounding, and my chest was heaving
I smiled shyly at him
He didn’t smile back
I looked away, hoping
I hope he saw me

Him
I looked at her from across the room
She was breathing hard
I was loving her shy smile
I didn’t smile back
To scared to scare her away
She looked away
My heart stopped

Her
I hoped at him
I was scared to look his way
But he had looked mine
I was hoping so hard
My heart hugging and punching itself

Him
I loved her hard
I willed her to look my way
She didn’t
So I did

Her
My heart stops, hoping for him
My breaths become short
My eyes stop seeing anything
Anything but him
I smile again
Hoping he sees me

Him
She smiles again
My heart stops
My breaths become short
I quickly smile at her
I noticed the hope

Her
I see the his dark eyes
They change
They change from dark and solid
They change to dark but I see a twinkle
I look down, suddenly blushing

Him
I see her cheeks
They're a rosy pink
I gasp under my breath
She blushing for Me

Her
I dream tonight
And I dream of him
He's there with me

Him
I toss and turn tonight
My heart snaps
*She can never be mine

If you sit on the chair
Will you watch me stare?
At your thin arms
Missing your old farm

She moved you here
And year after year
I look at your falling face
And think about your case

And this place
Is hidden from space
And it can embrace
Your grace.

we were to blinded by what we had
to notice your mean lies

the dollar signs all around us
i guess, your dreams came true
somehow, you didn't want it
i gave it up

you came alone
no car, no smile
with a dozen roses.
you probably stole 'em
i guess we let go together
as i closed my door.
*leaving you

I wish you had never happened to me. I believe that you destroyed my life, yet you have no blame. I trust that you won't tear my life down, if I leave yours. Then again, you've broke my trust forever.
The answer is simple, as easy as 123 or abc: I should leave you, yet I can't seem to. I try and try, but there is so much you can't understand. My life is so messed up, and I can't seem to see the path.

The cracks shine lightly
oh how did the flowers fade to this?
the colours are gone
they're magical, bright, vibrant colours
that dance in the sunlight
they faded
Oh how I hope for them
Oh how they dreamed
alone
to be big and tall and strong and a flying dream
to rescue the little girls and boys from the
life they lived.

*i will plant them again and again and again and forever for the colour to shine.

I loved my friend.
They left me alone.
How could you?

Trust. Love. Hope
Dreams. Happiness.
Those words mean nothing to me.
*How could you?

they ask and they ask
i slur my words so they can't ask anymore.
shutupshutupshutup

Chin up. Nose up.
Use good grammar. Use good everything.

nononononono

That's not me.

Hello, Sunshine!
How are you today?
I love your outfit
With all your bright colors
Your warmth is comforting,
So toasty and your embrace is safe
*Thank you for leading my way today

Look, these poems, they aren't a apology.
They're a way for me to convince myself that you're gone.
And I finally accepted the truth

You never fell in love with me. Not in the slightest.
Well, I can't say the same thing about me

I never fell in love with you
I jumped

Flurry of dances
Cracked faces hide in the
Shadows of sorrow

I close my eyes
I see black
All reminders.
gone
Gone without a trace
I feel cooper in my mouth
*Good night

the old lies
swim up to the surface
fade, but there.

i guess i should push em down.
the love thing got me going crazy.
but i needed to be treated like a **** princess, or a empress.

**the superficial love.

He's there for me
But I love the Other one

For him I Bend
*For you I break

with any minute
of any day in our life,
we can start anew

I stared.
those white, flying
things that were dancing.
graceful, light
with such sorrow

crying, but no one hears
smiling like nothing is
wrong
wrong
wrong

It covers the land
It covers the ocean.
The urge to keep it,
the urge to hold it,
it keeps me going.

every midnight ends
one and begins another.
repeats endlessly

yeah, yeah
there is this
there is that
but.
i doubt that you can see me for me
but.
no it's not right.
so.
sad(ly) i walk
(a)lone.

50 years from now, I will be living with my soulmate, who isn't you. You'll be standing there, with your mouth open, gaping at my picture perfect life.
50 years from now, I will in love with someone who is real, who isn't you. I hope I crushed your heart, like you did with mine. I opened up to you, hoping you'll save me. But, you didn't. You sunk me.

50 years from now, I'll be trying to forget you. I smash you out of my life, like you did to me. But, I'll never forgot, like I want to do. I'll drop out of your mind like a stone, but you'll stay in mine.

I just hope you'll be okay. No smoking or drinking. Just stay safe. That's my wish

We'll both forgot the breeze/Most of the time/So it is -Damien Rice (Blower's Daughter)