I awake in torment
Spine twisted
Teeth aching from clenching so tightly

I pass the realm of lucidity
Trying to grasp the voices I hear
From the stairway above

They still infest my deepest nightmares
**I know what they have done

I determine to die loved.
Even if it is only
by myself.

The thought of losing you used to scare me.
Now I just feel numb.

I like to watch from a distance
Observe from a far
And listen to the sound of silence
I like how it makes a persons
Inner conscience come alive
Because when all said and done
We all have something to hide
So don't confide with your demons
They'll only pull you down
And When you lie still in
Your own Sea of treachery
They'll help you drown

Poison.
The words flowing from your mouth,
and with each dose I become more and more impaired.
With each dose life slips
from my once warm body.
The thought of one more word
drives me to bizarre extremes,
extremes that are even too
extreme for the most extreme
Extremes!
Congratulations.
You've done it,
you've broken me down so far,
even I, don't know where I've gone off to.
You won't find me on a milk carton,
on the news,
or any plastered up posters across town.
In fact you won't find me at all.
I've gone missing, yes.
But I'm very much still here.
Hanging onto every word.

I must know...

the smell of your blowing hair
   in the leaf-strewn autumn wind

the touch of your hand on my chest
   closely held in a sleepy winter bed

the sight of your eyes lit with wonder
   for the beauty of spring's first flowers

the sound of your voice calling my name
   through a window from a summer garden

...and as the cycle renews...

the taste of your fertility
   under the cover of a harvest moon

...there simply aren't enough seasons
to gain a complete sense of all that you are