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 Mar 2018 alwaystrying
Jeff S
when i was ordained a journalist,
a halfwit wisdom-speller with i's too often after e's,
they mounted a valediction for me:

"goodbye, you crucible of culture and the end," they pomped.
"we wish you joy on your carpetbagging beats,
the inciting sins you write your things about—

"the ways in which we fall.
and glory to you, the one who settles truth
by shivering quotes in darkness

and flickering candles in caves.
for what would be the world without you?"

a better place, I'm told; a feast of fiends without wits.
and likely more bourbon
to go around.
 Mar 2018 alwaystrying
Jeff S
mea maxima culpa:

i am so much 
like a breadbox born.

bowing over time, as things do get

stale, my cracks christening
unwitting loaves with light

already risen.

i hear the newer ones 

come with their own condiments

and an irredeemable crust.

the bread, I mean. 

They don’t make we

breadboxes anymore.
I lived with my grandparents
as a boy before kindergarten.
My grandfather, a union boilermaker,
always left for the job early in the morning before I woke.
In the evenings, pap would stumble through
the back door, covered in soot, exhausted.
Sometimes I'd run up to him and hug his leg,
a sign of appreciation, true love.
Pap always laughed in delight at the affection
and then he’d pat my back in approval.

As I clung to pap’s ***** work pants,
the sharp smell of burnt metal filled my world.
It was the scent of the Rust Belt
that often hung in the air around the steel mills
and so many manufacturing centers.
That familiar smell reflected the gritty region,
its culture of hard day labor and heavy Sunday dinners,
the only way of life we understood.

Fifteen years later, sitting together
on pap’s back porch next to his stack of books,
his retirement library, the metallic scent was gone,
along with the steel mills and the rail yards.
‘I miss that smell,’ I said.
Pap kind of frowned and rolled his eyes
in that way when we hear the young and naive
speak without wisdom or experience.
‘I don’t,’ he said.
A few years ago at some point in a day
I remember sitting on a bay
A bay that was a tank holding fish
So many fish that I wish I had not eaten from my dish

I’ve had my fair share of meat
And I wish that instead I had something made from wheat
I wish I had just ordered garlic bread
Instead of something that was already dead

Every year cows pigs and millions of others
Are taken to the slaughter away from their mothers
Away from their small cages and all that they’ve known
Away from their friends and what they call home

Every year pigs and cows
Are raised to have their necks broken like bows
Why does everyone just this occur
When harmless animals are sent to the slaughter

Why don’t people just go vegan
And help the animals that are gonna get eaten
We need to change from societies meat filled plate
And argue the toss put up a debate

Why don’t we just tell them what it is
Even if some people wanna take the ****
I am a vegan, that’s what it is
I am a vegan, and I am disgusted

I am disgusted that society thinks its okay to eat meat
Something that from birth only gets beat
So instead I eat food made from wheat shred
Because I don’t want to eat something that is already dead

Animal bodies are casted aside into meat pans and fryers
Advertised by KFCs top of the range liers
It is not finger lickin’ good
It’s something that should not have been murdered before its adulthood

Now some people think it’s okay to pay 15 quid
For something that makes me wanna cry and it’s fried squid
Now they might say “I only have it on occasion”
But that squid had a life, plus its Asian
Why not just let them be where they’re meant to next to China
Instead of eating them in some chain restaurant diner

All of these animals are meant to have different life styles
But all it says on the packet is turn on the oven and twist these dials
We need to change what society tells us to eat
And we need to stop eating meat

Because if we don’t change
Then society will stay deranged
I don’t care if you say “but Tom its free range”
Because if you eat meat you don’t use your brain

At least not to its’ full potential anyway
And I hope you at least think about this all day
Because I want you to change you ways
So don’t take the cows away from their grass
And do something other than sitting on your ****

Stop and Think
Before you pick up the milk to take a drink
Because these cows pigs and millions of others
Are raised to be slaughtered and are taken from their mothers
I’m sure if you had a daughter
You wouldn’t want her to be taken to the slaughter
Because these cows, pigs and millions of others
Just remember all of them had mothers.
just felt like writing an empowering poem about the meat industry and veganism
 Mar 2018 alwaystrying
ThePoet
I only pretend with pretenders
And contend with contenders
I'm only giving to the givers
And forgiving to forgivers

I'm only strange with strangers
And dangerous with dangers
I'm only hateful to the haters
And traitorous to traitors

©
 Mar 2018 alwaystrying
Nimbus
I can no longer hide
My soul ignited

once disparaged
I long to share it

The chills in my spine put into words

Lips on skin
Eyes filled with sin

What is this sensation

I drip colors you cannot see

Heightening my passion
Enhancing my touch

Raw emotion channeled as such

My desire aches
The color of flush
My cage breaks
Expressions of lust

I do not fear it
I can hear you blush

My favorite sound

Our souls combust
My restless soul longs for something fulfilling
 Mar 2018 alwaystrying
Cana
I walk by a garden that’s not mine.
Not everyday, but less than I’d want.
It has a flower blossoming right by the gate.

It’s petals are green.  They sparkle with dew.
Bright and glowing at all times of the night and day.

It’s face is fire. Crackling and warm, a beacon to lost souls and small animals. Warming pieces of people that were unknowingly frozen.

It’s stem is lithe. Twisting, gently curving its way up to the sun. Strong enough to hold its head up and not bow to the wind.

It’s roots, enigma. I do not know how deep they go. But I’d be willing to try find find a *** big enough to hold them all stretched out.

I’d wish to have such perfection in my garden.
I’ve tried placing beauty in it, to no avail.
I once even planted a pretty **** with thorns and spikes. It didn’t last either.
Perhaps my land is salted.
I do not care to make a note
 Mar 2018 alwaystrying
Nicole
I've been searching for the source of these emotions
Because jealousy and other things
Are typically a result of your own perceptions
And it took me awhile to figure it out
I lost some blood along this unknown path
But then I came upon the answers
Because of something my best friend said
And now it all makes sense

I have always had a problem
With investing too much of myself into love
I begin identifying too strongly with the relationship
And any roadblocks feel as though
My entire universe is crashing before me
And looking at this one here
I've done the exact same thing

When we were first together
I told you I needed to continue working on myself
In order to avoid giving you all of my energy
And as soon as I stopped doing that
I fell into old habits

So it makes sense why I feel entirely crazy these days
Why I can consciously recognize that
You having another partner isn't the end of my world
Because you still love me
And I love you undyingly
Yet I still had overwhelming negative cognitions
That made me feel like dying

And now I realize that
In order to deal with these feelings
I have to focus on me again
Recognize that I need to improve myself
For myself
And then this will get easier
Thankfully it already has

Because I love you so much more
When I'm taking care of myself
Because instead of feeling like I have
No real choice but to stay
It now feels like a beautiful privilege
And it truly is
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