Fear latches onto my mind.
I am afraid,
Afraid of positives.
I cannot come to terms with another life form.

Like mother, like daughter,
I will fall into her footsteps;
You will leave, just as my father;
Tiny eyelashes and fingernails will be the cause.

They will look at me as the one to blame,
For I am the flame and you are water;
Tranquil, you are soothing blue,
But I burn and do not falter.

My feet will swell;
My friends will dwindle;
They will declare me filthy,
Will critique while my fire is kindled...
(Of course, they are perfect... completely). 

Your parents will tell you
It was my fault from the start;
It doesn’t take two,
It only takes one to ***** up her part.

Our flames will grow...
Both of us are full of fury and passion.
Cool water, you know
The fire will engulf my being,
Soon, our flames will show.

The flame will breathe in oxygen -
Blazing before diminishing to cool blue
In my arms, my tiny fire - wailing
I will be amazed – s/he will look just like you.

Dinking too much whiskey,
Behaving sort of risky,
Telling lying stories,
Tall tales of former glories,
Laughing between the tokes,
At outrageously bad jokes;
We thought we were outlaws,
But were tamer than in-laws.

Out for a wild ride,
Living on the wild side
And howling at the moon.
The sun will be rising soon.

Honking horns at passing cars
Toking doobies under the stars,
Letting no cuties pass us by
Without whistling, my oh my.
We were certain we were cool
Too ****** to know we were fools.
Escapees from the workaday,
We ten-mile perimeter ruanways.

Out for a wild ride,
Living on the wild side
And howling at the moon.
The sun will be rising soon.

Out at night, no three-piece suits,
Sandals instead of fruit boots
Pegged jeans and rolled up sleeves
No fancy stuff with fancy weaves.
Prepared for whatever comes
Serenaded by engine hum
We told each other that we were hot.
Even though we knew we were not.

Out for a wild ride,
Living on the wild side
And howling at the moon.
The sun will be rising soon.

__________

To forged a smile everyday

And joined the crowd and be okay

My face tattooed the image of clown

To hide a man who's so feeling down

we sat next to each other

and I ignored the tension

and laughed and teased

and felt at ease


but you grabbed my hand

and traced my palm.
your touches
slowly crawled up my arm,

your thumb massaged mine

and you pulled me closer

and raised my hand to your mouth

and kissed my fingertips with your soft, soft lips
.

but this incredible lust

would pass with time

and you would never truly

be mine.

so I tried to convey all of my pain
in a soft kiss on your shoulder

and as I released myself from your grasp

my eyes started to tear,


and I forced myself to realize
that it is probably best
that I will never get back the sensation

of having you at my fingertips.

Its hard to move forward
When i dont know
Where forward is

So worried
Always
That i may misplace a step
Sometimes
I forget to take one