and this is what
my door is shut

Dear Victoria,
Where did you go?
Why did you leave me?
My heart has gone cold.

Dear Mindset,
Why did you come?
You tell me I'm worthless,
Useless and dumb.

Dear Victoria,
I need you back,
Without you I do things,
My soul's turning black.

Dear Mindset,
You've changed this child,
You've broke my jawline,
And stole my smile.

Dear Victoria,
Right now, I am lost,
I'm confused, worried, doubtful,
My wrists pay the cost.

Dear Mindset,
You've ruined my life,
It was you who told me,
That salvation was in the knife.
It was you who began my now grand addiction.
   Thank you so much,
   Love Victoria x

Let's go get high on caffiene and drunk off each other.
Lets spend hours in coffee shops, with nothing in our stomaches but butterflies and my cappuccinos and your lattes. Let's become giddy and delusional and find everything amusing and not be able to do anything but laugh.
Lets drink and drive as we ride around to exciting places. With every turn down a new curvy road you'll travel deeper down the curvy roads of my mind. Ill become intoxicated and weak and you'll become more and more charming as with each turn we'll fall deeper into a drunken memory.

Who knew of Gwendolyn
as if I should know
as if it were February
on the history channel

Is it odd that Ed
finally introduced us
after so many years
as if he should be
suspiciously Caucasian

like Ed who
I really don't know
from Baltimore
growing up white
against black because
that's how America was
and is lovable,
hardworking, left-leaning
with a racist mother

or not like Curtis
who's Pusherman
from Chicago deals
I don't know waht
because I've got no
streets but enough schoolin
than most deserve.

I didn't know Gwendolyn
and that's not ironic
motivation to deal
more poetic *****
up for us to huff.

The soul smoothly started leaking,
Dropping slowly out of this tired body,
The grave ready to devour,
A heart rejected by life,
A body being kicked out of living.

Was it yet time to depart?
Days squandered carelessly,
Time on its wings gone,
Should words have spoken am dying?
Slowly leaving this body to aging.

God hasn't called me home yet,
Though there am longing to go,
Craving heaven,
Fearing death..