i want you
in every way there is to want a person

from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other

to lustful late nights
high happy and in love
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else

i want you
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless

i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being
every corner of your mind
and everything in between

i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination
you are the journey

i am simply enamored with your entity
captivated by your character
fascinated
infatuated
amorous
in love

i
you will suddenly understand why home is not where you are, it's who you're with because their arms will feel safe like the home you never had and they will give you comfort like you've never felt

ii.
you will melt your bodies together like the way a million colors blend as the sun sets and the combination of your skin will be so stunning it won't seem real

iii.
it won't matter what the others say because every time you hear them laugh it is a reminder that they are your world and the other opinions are irrelevant

iv.
they will make the future seem bright and for the first time you won't be afraid to wake up in the morning because the thought of them is a driving force to keep trying

v.
together you will find yourself learning about life and how to fight through it and side by side you will be invincible because just their hand in yours will be enough armor to protect you from the world

vi.
you will find yourself staring at them in ordinary moments wondering how you got so lucky as to call this perfect human yours and you will thank the universe every night before you sleep for bringing them into your life

vii.
you will realise that "i love you" is so much more than three little words and that small sentence will never be enough to express how you feel about them

viii.
good news or bad they will be the first person you want to run too because they aren't just a lover they are your best friend and your day doesn't feel right without hearing about theirs

ix.
the world around you will always remind you of them and you will find pieces of them where ever you go because they are always in the back of your mind and any moment you are without them you will wish they were there

x.
you will finally understand why so many people would die for love because
you would do anything to keep them happy, to keep the light in their eyes, and to keep the smile on their face

s.s

you will never
be more important
to them
than
sipping
smoking
snorting
substance

tell me

how can you call that love

s.s

drown me in your blue eyes
i'll bury you in my brown ones
infamous star-crossed lovers
we might just be the death of each other

s.s

Here’s to the boy
who waited for a girl
on his front door step
until she came home
after leaving without sound

Here’s to the girl
who has to hide her urges
behind a glass door
the strength to put down the razor
after shaving her legs

Here’s to the girl
who receives deluded comments
on the length of her skirt
from her own mother

Here’s to the boy
who didn’t have a father growing up
but is teased
because he’s more comfortable being friends with girls

Here’s to the girl
who finds solace
in people who are temporary

Here’s to the boy
that doesn’t feel safe
in his own home

Here’s to all the kids
who have been told it is wrong to feel
the way they feel
like our emotions are fishhooks
that need to be
reeled in

Here’s to you
Here’s to me
Here’s to anyone who has ever had
their heart crushed beneath the heel
of someone they loved

You are loved
You are important
You’ve made it this far
and you can make it even farther
have strength
and

Here’s to you

Having Depression is like finding out that mermaids are real
It doesn’t make sense to you until you’re getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean
And then you think
Oh
That’s what this is
And I’m drowning now,
That’s just……… great
And eventually, with your last vestiges of breath left
You float back to the surface
And you’re fine.
And that’s it.
Mermaids stop existing again.
Because you never actually saw what grabbed you
You only felt the claws around your leg
The cold, clammy hands tugging
With a force that you could never fight against
But you never saw her
So it was all a dream
Right?
And it happens again and again
You are drowning again and again
Until the water begins to feel like home
And the only thing reminding you that you are alive
Is the burning in your lungs
And when everything you had balanced so very carefully starts falling
Off the shelves of your life
When your “mild” depression starts deciding it wants to be more
When being alone makes you feel dead inside
And when losing your cool for one ******* second makes you contemplate your own demise
When do you admit to yourself that you are slipping
You are sinking and just because you can slow your descent
Does not mean that you’re not still drowning
And at the end of the day just because it took you longer to get there this time
Doesn’t mean you aren’t still lying on the ocean floor
Devoid of light and sound
And if you had just climbed onto that now distant boat and sailed away
You’d be fine.
But climbing was too hard
And sinking is so much easier
And you’re scared that if you reach out
Your hands will feel clammy and cold
As they wrap around your friends throats
And drag them down with you
And you would rather rot at the bottom of an endless sea
Than let that happen
So you lie in darkness and wait
For a sound
The singular resounding sound
Of failure
And you slowly float back to the surface
Take a deep breath
And you’re fine.
Because mermaids aren’t real
It’s all in your head

You who goes by "Lonely"
Yes you, who reads these rhymes
Please pause here for a moment
I won't take much of your time

You see my friend, I'm lonely too
In the dark with paper and pen
So I'm writing you this poem
and signing it "Your Friend"

Though I'll prob'ly never see you
nor ever know your name
I do not need to see your face
nor know your cash and fame

I do not care what color you are
how short or tall or fat
I'm weary of all these parties and creeds
So, for a moment, forget all of that

Yes you, dear friend, forget with me
Inhale this moment serene
where we are not opinions or castes
Just two humans with two glowing screens

Be human with me, simple and pure
For a moment breathe deep and feel free
then should you have the time, and a halfway good rhyme
Perhaps write a poem for me.

Signed,
Your Friend

she was a riptide
the kind of disaster you can’t see
but once you're pulled in
oh god, you can’t get out
she was a crooked smile
a terrible laugh
too much of this,
too little of that
she was a mess
but she was golden
an 11:11 wish
you’d later regret
chaos in a quiet package
something that is
better to forget
she was something to fall for
until you realise
all she does is fall
she is a mess
and always will be
her lungs are filled with panic
and her veins laced with turmoil

s.s