i feel the electricity spark between us when we touch.
i feel the warmth of your soft and tender lips on mine.

i feel the joy your voice brings every time you speak
i feel my heart growing fonder each time you come into my sight.

i feel something new.
i feel you.
i feel love.

i cannot sleep
i am wired with fury
flooding, storming
through my veins choking my heart
burning a hole in my stomach
because another black body has been
stolen
a heart
stopped
a voice
silenced
at the hands of an officer
(serve & protect?)
dried blood has hardened on the corners
of the pages of the book he was holding
when he was murdered
and now his name will become a
headline
a hashtag
and who will explain to his son
why he couldn't make it to the bus stop?
why wasn't his life worth protecting
why is his death an argument
why isn't anyone
l i s t e n i n g
while black folk are on the streets
s c r e a m i n g
blacklivesmatter
but the killing doesn't stop
and the blood is always fresh
and that is why
i cannot sleep tonight.

t.m.      1:29 am

on October mornings
when the world outside my window
is lost in a pale fog
& faint white light slips between
the spaces in my blinds but spares
me, cloaked in shade & free
to sleep a little longer (if i could)

when the cozy scent of coffee
drifts upstairs, through the chilly air
& kisses me awake
how to savor a stillness so delicate?
threatened by little more
than the **** creaky floor

on October mornings
born mild & undisturbed
i tiptoe through the quiet
vacant rooms that smell of
spice & stale smoke
all is as i left it.
(draped in loneliness)

when i've accidentally made
one too many pancakes
& the wind's whistle haunts me like
a distant friendly ghost
it seems to always be
on these October mornings
that i wish you were here

the most

i.
what a mess you’ve made
of me
cause i’ve spent so much time in your eyes lately
and i like the way you smile when
you're falling apart  
over last call at the bar
i swear you look at me like i just
lifted a car
(surprised and confused and afraid and
amazed)
when i’m raving like a mad woman about
climate change and you keep the drinks
coming and my heart
pumping
all night
long.

ii.
the grey area
is not where good love goes to die
it is where good love is never born
thighs are kissed but hearts are not broken
and those of us who dwell there
prefer it that way
(but i don’t mind
if you stay)

iii.
though i would have preferred
if you’d kissed me earlier
and hurt me less,
with you i always take what i can get
i want you to teach me everything you know
about making love
and weapons of mass destruction
(why do ugly thoughts consume such a pretty mind?)
come here, baby
i am not the bad guy.

iv.
and i’ve been feeling restless
like my chest is on fire
thoughts twisted up
i told you with me its never enough
(and then it’s too much)
electrify me just to pull the plug
don’t you know it’s better with the lights on?
i’ve never felt so ******* untouched
as i have these last few nights
passion isn’t patient
but timing is everything,
right?
(i knew you’d change your mind)


t.m.

Constellations

Constellations marked your eyes.
haunting, omnipotent, cold
I could do nothing but take you in
silence. was the cold night
always so full of longing?

My eyes drifted for so long
until I looked into the
galaxies within you.

Remind me how to live again

My soul is screaming
My wounds stay open
The scars have not healed
I am dead inside

My soul cries for the grave
Show you the rage I am feeling
Empty, lost, can't find myself, lost in my lie

Without the mask, where will I ******' hide?
Blurring and stirring, the truth and the lies...
Winged, but cannot fly

Dark, morbid, incomplete and burdened

The screams of my soul are forever echoing...
Bury my lost soul in a grave of emptiness
Lonely
My dead soul
Wounds ache in dark sympathy