My bodies cold
lips are blue
why did I do this because of you?

I feel the earth below me
like a pillow under my head
no knives, no guns, but pills instead

The bottle lays empty
cap unscrewed
what did I do? what did I do?

My spirit floats my body lays
my lover finds me
and she prays

I reach for him
I'm ****** away
like a deep crest of a wave

she pounds the ground
screaming why oh why?
I asked myself why did I?

My parents arrive, my best friend too
I thought to myself, What did I do!?

I look away the pains to deep
my life is over because of me

I look back for one last glance
they zip me up in the body bag.
I did this to ease my pain
I lost instead of gained

as I look down my family
I regret that night
my life stopped ticking
because of a fight.

I wish I had a nightmares,
To show I really care,
About something the I love,
Something the could fly like a dove.

I wish I woke up screaming,
To know that I was dreaming,
About something that is frightening,
Just to keep my life going.

I wish I could feel the tears,
To know I can feel fear,
About someone I hold dear,
A someone that I love to hear.

I wish I had nightmares,
To know life's just a dare,
About how death will always scare
With just his dangerous stare.

What's wrong?
I don't belong
here with you,
Never will do.

So I'm gone,
If this is home
Then I'm alone
Remain unknown.

For ever on,
I will belong
Into the waves
For all my days...

love

is a disease that continues to

be passed around and around

& leaves behind a long trail

of broken hearts,

the death of young souls,

& the smell of a

sickening sadness.

those endless skies I see behind my eyelids in my sleep,
along the mossy trees and among waters ever deep
a castle over oceans, and nearby the salty edge
the moons easily grabbed from up on the highest ledge

warm beer is something i could quickly get used to
if i could peer out over waters in endless shades of blue
and though i would be far away from any form of you
i think it would prove if our love could possibly stand true

i'll think about you while i'm sitting lonely on the plane
your image will stay heated and still burned into my brain
i cannot say no to my dreams, at least not any longer
and i truly believe that i'll wake up better and much stronger

Silence has taken me prisoner,
I am no longer allowed to speak
My lips have been sewn tightly shut,
I'll have to cut holes in my cheek

My words are cursed to stay inside me
Left there in my mind to drive me mad
And when I try to let them out and go free
They've all gone rotten, nasty, and bad

There are cobwebs on my thoughts that make them sticky
And my words turn into a huge swarm of spiders
Stinging my face with venom as they run out
I try to squash them all, but they're real fighters

I despise my  shallow, fickle existence,
no more, no more.