Looking
Through the
Door
To the Outdoors

The rain can't be felt
The pain strangely dwells
Tonight in the meadow
I will be all alone and shrouded
Near the cloudiness on my window

Her beautiful curls fall down
When the red ribbons are pulled from the tips
The story is hanging from a thread
Like her shoes tipping from her toes
When we call it quits

Till I leave from the front door
Her heart is open
So is her world for a moment
Her body is not a wonderland
It's a weapon and I am not that strong

Seems like yesterday
Kept my life alive
For today's journal
Entry into tomorrow
I left days to waste after each other
I guess lazing is better than imagination
Dates bring back the memories
But days remind me of familial upbringing
Breaking plates  in your home
Is like breaking your heart in your soulless
Emotion
hope your feeling well

Sending the love forward
Paying it back, in the
The way the socialism asked for a corporal
She loved him with a love untoward, that came from America
You can either hurt yourself or burn yourself, find fault with it
But, you will always learn from it, in the bebop that doesn't stop the motion of food and clothes in songs about buildings
Boy's with sobbing looks held by kiosks sending the semaphoring forward, with hope in we weren't going pop our madness during our cherry red wine sedation, holding up ******* and
A flag

I have written papers
I had read rhymes
I have read essays
And I have read the Times

I love the colorful clothes you wear
The way that it suits the skin so fair
Your perfume that lightens the air
The expression so daring
I think I'm fainting

You are like a song in the rain
Dancing on the streets and lanes
Your pitter-patter sounds pleasant
I must be dreaming of different seasons

But, I'm getting good excitations
I can't any more patient
I need your loving attention
This tension is killing me slowly
With each reaction

We have once stretched ourselves
Like paper boats under the rain
And this soft heartbeat remains afloat
While keeping a dying ember in vain

The warm fire crackles and flickers
And a cat curls near the empty hearth
Close to where there once were soft whispers
The echoes dwell near my throbbing heart

I'm looking at the thin lines of the firewood
That opens and bursts at the fire's slightest touch
And what is left from time's tide, passed by
Lays strewn under the hearth, burning in the fire

Yet, I still remember your complexion
And my heart rebels against all logic
But, as it cannot overcome time's roughness
It chooses to preserve your shapeless words in black ink

A happier world for those
In a soul today for wasted years
Passing me by,
I'm in a sadder and more elusive world
Happiness isn't it
To be sold today
And kept for many a present

Keeping my feet
In socks
Made by animals

Brushstrokes pave the way for a convincing actor
In the most penniless circumstances
I cannot convince people to appreciate my art
It's absolution that brings me to the beginning
A feeling of apprehension of not believing that the world
Only convincing the actor in me to make the choice of dreaming
In this reality where I can live in an opulent dream
Still, I'd rather be stuck somewhere among partially awoke people
While I'm the only one knowing my role
And I must not tell this as I cannot convince people to appreciate my art
Which is simply a daydream

The steel lights were somewhat like a diner's candle
Half lit
Warmed by the black and bliss
The blue stamps rang on the fluorescent dandelion
The blue of the moon didn't hide any of its flame and flight
Half knit
Teeming with swarms of armed forces looking for Vietnam, belligerently
The sultry forests, are we even burning trees?
What is going on?

Dye maker, bebop can you play
Place in a playful childhood
In the silence, that's for cowboys to chase after
In their selves, critters crawl around
And I literally hate animals, women with attitudes
So, tell me Jet why do we have to observe
Sit and observe, and your nature follows them with other cheaper things
kono toko *****, modo jinkai shika deshou kanshaeimas, ke de
saisodai muri muri warui tabete kareta masen suru
kono haznan da toko kanashite taskete
nanika hontoni arigatai iku ga yorui san nukete dakke
kono toko ***** futari himtotsu iku zo setsu ou
anata wa basho e tsure kanshi mas
Good luck, with living on this lime, ******* it dry
Time is rare as the truth, it is based on good minds losing themselves

Living is difficult
Easy is simple
Love is felt
Living is love
Living is difficult
Easy is simple
Love is felt
It isn't easy living
Without love
Being simple is difficult

I reason with myself
That's the problem
Lies in seldom myself
I hate to admit it
The coruscating fire rests there
I say it's probably changing the world
I reason with myself
That being a problem
Lies in my half-measures
Never completely admitting
It's probably changing the world

A swan swims through
the river of journey
A journey of teaching
For its cygnets
And their wings
Ripples giving the river some drop of depth

The time and memories we shared
Still feeds the hungry soul
It warms the coldness inside
As your words flicker and fade

Now that you aren't here with me
The blankets, sheets, my skin
All have your scent
Water cannot wash away my sins

Why is your heart broken my love?
I waited days to speak to you.
But words had failed me
I seek solace in your company but receive only romance
I wish I could touch your face and know what kissing the tears of heaven feels like
Let me nurse that broken heart that had gone amiss

Hey you're a funny guy
Don't bring the pain
The rain says I'm gonna cry

Heat is the loneliness of being homely in a world of comfort zones and cold hearts.

You feel alone
Alone is in your head
You can't get out of this state of mind
Of boredom
But, somehow solitude is bliss
For someone, somewhere
Where being lonely was an issue of prejudice
Later, I learnt
That to truly be alone, I had to wake up to myself
Haunted by the fear
That every day the rabbit hole gets deeper
I learn more about myself day by day
I'm a politically-inclined sycophant
Who talks about what matters with fanatics
Pleading for change
Joining hands with the enemy

When you look at Maria Kondo cleans your apartment
You wouldn't find mind it when she throws away
The Trump toaster in the kitchen

laitos hanesta kunnnussunutu mies miell, englantikirjo mina ja me tunen junan
tama esse and seisoden lyht lyppi vappaasi seinan, ja velja
Sovyit eripstyat hanesta puhutka laekke aiomme
mista olen kaynyt kahvi?

Cutting the trees
The leaves fall
Rather instantaneously
Not from the branches
But from the roots

Yew and other conifer serried in a daffodil field
A lone traveler wearily strides on the hills
Karenina, the morose maiden by him
Holds a lamp in a library where his vision dims
Pensive thoughts converge
In a road where the paths diverge
His tenacious mind seeks
Where the heart grows meek
When a lady mourns
A man yearns for more

The children ring the doorbell
The door hears it
The love yous I share with big licks
The love yous I share with lickety sticks
The voulez vous lists of the bon often bonfire
The volute often pollute the years of ulterior motives
Break your back, heart needs
We can be champions of our lives, if we wrote our own stories
The years go by as love the look in your eyes
The days go as some ****** takes the pull from your woolen tassels

The talk of love
The "Caution" sign
On wet floor
Ended my cares
As I was swept
Off my feet
Turned them into desires

There's a fire raging inside
That ravages the memories of my life
I save my sorrows
And hold my fears close

As the rain pours tonight
A hurt heart forgets its desires
Every moment seems longer
Than the stars that glimmer

The road was winding it was something it never had
Love like a pedestrian came across telling me to leave fads and clads of Harlem Renaissance
Clutches of the evening cars were watching the scenery like the emollient evening sanctity
Clasps of the automobiles catching the stars too lost to fall from the cliff of subliminal fantasy
Gladly, I'm clapping forward untoward tomorrow is today
The story never ends, as long as it has a road and changes like flat tires like fickle women
Bouldered on the broken arrows of Cupid's quiver, stealing a glance across her shoulder
Changing the tears into wine, changing gears from behind such is the work of backstreet bromance
Street romance is full of plastic love, polluting the heart and the road too
The road was killing me and you, like a Scotsman in his kilt singing from hailing hills elegies
Snowstorms  and memories of lonesomeness grow cold when love brings the luminous light to the numinous ones
I wake up after all these dreams are put to a conclusion with drugs
Dinner sleep comes after afternoon, noon lies with the dawn
Drugs dawn on me, and it's already dinner
I've slept in the anarchy and chaos, afraid of my own thoughts
Sleep comes like a pacing sea, which you can hear in the darling darkness
Puerile cries, mewling, and puking follows life, or it can
I'm unsure and that makes me confused with sickness

If you haven't felt joy and love
And your arms long to be touched
Wrap your head around me
Breathe in the air that surrounds me

If you haven't seen my face
As you need to every morning
Imagine giving yourself to my warmth
And let the sun touch your skin

If you aren't excited by love anymore
Remember I am always with you
In soul and in the leaves of trees
And in the rustling twigs, you snap under your feet

If you miss my embrace
And are looking for a love in the stars
Remember that I dance in the light of your sweetness
You are the reason I am alive and my grace

I think this is more beautiful
Than a passionate kiss and a shallow promise
More profound than a fleeting glimpse of the future
You are my reason for living as of this moment

Spike Spiegel kicks his friend in the guts
"What part of no don't you get."- Bonaro
"Well, I've learned that Vicious is better."- Jet
"Well, I'll take your advice when I beat him."- Spike
"Yeah, both of you are crooked in some ways."- Jet

Spike thinks on his life beyond the brushing in the sunsets
Time machines are great you know. Welcome
What, you find any of them on Ganymede?
Taking those sunsets and northern lights for granted.
Some of the Cowboy Bebop characters are too old for the ******* of Earth
"What are we doing in the courtesy of Earth? Let's go Red Dragon
THat's why Jet, Vicious can be beaten by Martian like me
"I thought you like music and fairies."- Spike
"Bonaro's my name."- Jet
"****, don't remember that Venusian guy anymore.
Spike wonders about the time past if he is so alone
Jet should have met Bonaro
Recco was a crazy disciple
"Coool."- Edward
"Spike listens into your cyborg rantings."- Jet
"Jet, what part of no don't you understand. Besides the kid has no respect."- Spike
"She might find something."- Jet
"Edward's woo hoo."- Edward puzzled
"Faye."- Spike
"Jesus hit him already."- Jet
"Yeah, probably."- Faye appears completely unaware

Me shelter
My veil
These are things
put together well
Me shelves
Keeps the kettle called black
Coal fueling it's function
Apostate that I am

Blizzard running into ice
Therefore I feel fire and the dimness
Showering fire in the fiery distance
Respiration fire
Fire like lizard storms

Mellow dream and classical melody
Composition and performance
Perforation and broken places
Laurels and Lutes
Sonatas and Partitas

A cat's ahead, a little complaisant
A cat followed the zephyr, playfully
Flat's rather zaftig and plump, and soothe the platitudes
Bibulous rachets and rackets of gesticulating recalcitrants
Congruent cat whisker's rather pother-like, can't get bolder
"Sleeping, oeuvre woes my way?"
"Sitting, oeuvre, was my way."

Some days I think to myself
What is she doing
Then it slips my mind
As I fly into heavenly skies
Evading cages sipping moonshine

As the scholars
Burn the midnight oil
I follow the sanguine stars
That let me fly from Earth's toil

The way of the stars
Guide me
As the weight of responsibility
Rests on me

Cynicism and idealism are two sides of the same coin; this pattern appears in young idealists. The intellectuals are cursed by knowledge. They use the privilege of education to question the government. Full of vigor and all for change. But, doing little to bring it.

The magical wind
Had cast its spell
But your hair was in your face
And your eyes would peer through

As soon as the clouds broke
And the lightning took the silence away

Years go by
She lives under
The starry skies
The cloudless nights
Chiming with the hives
The bees and the honey
Tired of the honey
Stick to each other

Neighbourly time flies

Pass by afraid of the Hive
The queen bees
Stick to their workers
Looking to them taunting
Them to pledge
Their soul to
Construction
And contiguous noise

Pressed against the wall
The Queen
Rides the comb and
The hexagon
Keeps the Beauty
Of shapes and shades
Of the iridescent
Inured By the work
The Overworked
Kills
The
Hexagonal Ruler
Protecting
His fellow bees
And retracting
From socialist fray
He and she run
With the trade
Used run for the trade

Now brilliant silence
And only
Silence of the beasts

In a dark forest
Ending the synergy
There is only frenetic
Reverence of the fastidious fleas

Reference to The Title

You aren’t with me
This harbour is lost
The stale air that I breathe
It is simply washed by the sea

The sweet air
The silence
The agony and despair
Is all left of this place

Nature says
What the heart knows
This empty bay
Filled with promises of yesterday

I'm a vagabond
I'm a bag of bones
I'm your skeleton
Held up by a beating heart
And flowing blood vessels
Carrying a steady mind
On an unsteady brain
Shook by the wind
Untouched by the rain

Silent screams and rages
verse dreams and sarcastic sages
The row believes in the youth of middle aged men
All belittle the your heart when hoping your pang fear
And spring into delirium, and bright gold
Bright light makes heat light asking for you to kneel
In red and leaves of gold, I ask for company
In dead cyka soldiers, the dead of the night
Brings out the company, where you might want a piano key
Loosened, and a guitar string, tuned and pulled

Silent svelte girls all are on the shore
As you she shifts she hasselblad fought him ****
Tea, as the ballad of the hounddog
Go the round midnight, call me after life
GO here, and come back by her fingers girls
In her life, is white, there is blyke
Everyone has a Jekkyl Hyyde
She doesnt know who he she means
After the shindig of time, singing life
Keep it in her, she rights the wall, and rides the fences
She rides the friendly horses, I know you before friends have ***
Feel my living, light my love with food of life
Make me right wrong is the rife
Kaddish sits on the wrong her
Reflection of lapas lazuli and Meer
Urst auf von bon, werst worde gert
Someone took the art killed it with joy
Someone lifted her with the ploy
**** and feet tastes summer and winter tastes like sum
Feets and passerby, touch my *** please master
grace my pallor with your heat, and gush in the blood of the great hand
Slow dots and polka dance that enrichen the glib gleam of Arriana
If friends were enemies and enemies were friends, and friends were summers
The winters would leave with the lush green forests that smell grape and touch my dots and follow my valley
On a figged donkey sorry masturbator
I want you to ride the wind, with gully
I want you rise with the wind, and touch my langstromme with lakes of stowaways
I want you to leave with the wind I feel the wish that touches your heart
I want yin and yang, not love
I want your balance, and not your senses

The end is the beginning when the fire comes out of the blessed wind
The end is near, the tin can man fires the black and blue
The middleman has her hips in the red roses and the masks, and so Im here to **** you
In my whips and my black college wants your education
Education is near, and you are far and tresses of your hair
Egregious error, was to frame you and keep you in my heart
When I couldn't see the picture
Innocence is a true picture
I want you, I want you love me
I want gush virgins and rush astral stars that hearts cant keep
I want the rushed visions that allotropes the love keeps me lively
Me and Ann lively

The glass breaks in supernatural moment
The boredom turns into a simple verdict
That you get possessed by life or by the ghosts of your
Past
Learn to feel good in front of the mirror
I miss my old friends, but not how it ended
First persons that ever broke my heart
Were reluctant individuals who never for this special advice
Coming from a person with creativity
And no knowledge of making the right decision
Music is just a superpower

I strode into a bar one night
Stumbled actually into the dim light
At the sight of a lady
With a stellar gown made of dark fabric
With her hair so brown, it could have been fawn
I don't remember the details now
I don't even wear that cambric tunic
The night had slowly faded into a hushed dawn
With the drinks and chaotic murmurs turning to yawn
Like sunshine on flowers through a canopy
Our eyes met instantly
As the bar emptied
We got along well, I thought too myself
Under the stars and constellations, we spoke
Churning stories under the starlight, gaily
Of things which to this day have passed
Five years had passed
The serendipity struck me blind
"I am not capable of love."
"You aren't. But you will be."
She had the raw optimism of a child

I was still playing with my life
Under the serenity of the night sky
I realized a lot
In that short time
I was sure of someone
For once in my life

Then, I looked around the bar
She was still twiddling her thumbs
My heart beat twice as I looked at the shore
I wanted to say something
Looking through the window pane
The boats were docked, rocking on the waves
They were nestled near the pier on the high tide
This conversation was sailing smoothly
I needed a plan!
I had a plan
At least, I thought I had a plan
Yet I was tied to a feeling, there was some stillness
It smelled like beer, but, I could taste the fear
I couldn't ask her out
Or could I?

I decided to walk out of the tavern that night
I admit, I was a little lost and alone
Best choice I had made in a long time, right?
Suddenly, the door flew open
She ran up to me
The air was clear, her face lit up in the dead dark
I said a whole sentence, but, the wild wind hid the stupid remark
She blurted out, "I have never felt so alive."
I wish we meet again
Because I need that raw optimism again
Now I think too much, feeling too little

The innocent social snobbery
Found impact
Brought my peace
Nebulous and capitalized for the punishment
The child is the opus of the prima fascia child's lies
Sound of silence falls like the fuschia stories that sound like lullabies
The thespian memories look like I'm moving, the music's killing me
Truth, to be there, I can't remember
Locking in the organized cell, organic and designed
The trust was built, for the organized and all elope all love
Handholding humanity brightened the cradle really, brightening the groves son
And fell asleep with the eyes on the rocket, and the living society
I believe I'm hell because I am, prodigal son what do you know of heaven
The drinks and the pleasures, that need my word are you a patient's presentation
Beezlebub, always be a poet in prose
Sounds kind of apres dinner sleep, to between the blurred drapes that match the curtains
Desperate on call and states, that meandering with Tennyson inspired
The wit thy brought cerulean skies, the drapes shuttered

Caramel cupcake
Made in salted ovens
For the black and sweet

You're dog lights the daylight in the street
In the heat of the breath of the wilting leaves
The daylight, your a dog heals the winter
Winter's dead, but, my dog is still hollering
At the door that gives empty looks never opening-up
Man-made machines that made wars on every side
One peat and bitumen eye, heterochromia
I wish I could pick you up with a midnight spoon
On the midnight summer's night with misty mirages beyond false compare
You are beautiful than God, Goddesses are chasing after your soul
I guess you get those killer instincts that change with the weathered horses brushing air
Stormy as the sunlight, sunlit as the stormy weather
How can this world change, if the knives remain blunt
And the guns cut through flesh and bones, with a deafening noise
Tumultuous storms on the California streets can be mistaken for a handful of dust
Don't be dreary, weary, merriment learned as you tear me up imminent desire in the coyote after the fire of Moloch horridus
Life with the brilliance of minds in raging madhouses, two-sets of classical music, two-cents in a jazz hat
I could give my bit for the truant tune that hovers my head of cloudy dubiousness, scintillating Sun shining like farthings
Some of these cents are jaded like wars of Macedonia, made of emerald clad Eli Eli sabachtachni insignia
Your heart must be from the mountains, cause you aren't from this Earth
Midnight summer's dream, you treat us with fairness beyond compare, put on your make-up
Come out of the light, show yourself the waves of relief
He shows you the way of the earth, wind and fire can crash shapeless like kinmanship
Shapeless little droplet in the nightly crimson wildflower, shine bright like the wound of shouldered giants

When I hold you in my palm, you gain shape of an eternal blessing
Conceived out of wedlock, the cheap tickets, and sold-out rodeo show
Hair like wires, stretch into a starry dynamo of the motionless night
I can't tame you with a name

The soul felt it was light as bees
As it was relieved and alive
Looking into a relief of hellish rocks and whorling heights
Periodic clouds cleared the doubts as I abseiled blind

You came again
With his shroud
Your hunger and pain
I could see and love
In his mouth
Asking me to
Love those eyes and face
You offered a tulip, with a bow
After you lift your countenance
We walk hand in hand, ashore

I called captain Ahab
He told us to forget the whale
We told him to understand
If he was to drop the sails
Or we might as well belong in jail

The years turned to centuries
The jails were dead
As the Gods looked everywhere
They found me hidden under a chair
I said I was praying for death instead

Captain Ahab sat in the courthouse
The judge asked me why he didn't listen
I let out a laugh and said he does
They said you can't speak
You have to listen first

The streets were open
Captain Ahab sat next to me
The glass was filled too soon
The bartender said the car was here for free
He told me finish your drink, first then flee

The captain asked what was in it
It was empty
Isn't everyone full of themselves
He told me that everybody is empty
I told him because everyone acts the same, probably

I left breezin'

I walked through
Places
That were unexplored
But the home
Oft'
Explored
Is a tome
Of Maps
Loading the ships
With crates
Of Journey

Since, you've been gone
I can do what I want
There's so much this heart longs

Its been ten hours, since I last called
I don't know if you're still alive
In my head

Nothing dies, it's no surprise
After all the drinks and friends
You're still in my head