You are there,
Never here,
Never near.

I am here,
Never there,
Never aware.

The both of us,
We're moving dots;
Always crossing paths,
But never actually meeting in the middle.

Lanterns in the sky
swirling its direction to sunrise.
Golden flowers glisten by
bringing a sweet surprise.

Blue, tottering oceans
turn yellow from the sun.
Making such amazing motions
entering together as one.

Rising, steep mountains
gesture below the sunrise.
Sheer, rich canyons
below the lantern skies.

to live freely
under the volcano of raindrops
is that even possible?
will we even get anywhere?
will you even look at me?
or will i simply fall and drown
suffocating and wilting my life away
where will i go then
if everything fades away
will i even be able to live?

Try closing your eyes,
Taking a breath and focus
Focus on the infinite universe.
The place of endless magic.
There the answers will be shown
for you to ground inside divinity.

Try opening your heart.
Taking the sacred breath of life.
Life that offers you experience.
The place you grow and learn truth.
There your love essence will
explode if you try.

StarBG © 2017

I get drunk to not think about you,
yet you slip through the cracks,
every night you dance in my thoughts,
just to fade when I open my eyes;

I hold onto the scars that remain
because that's all I can bear to
keep after we were over;
I kept the wounds open just to hurt

Sometimes I touch my heart
where you rested your head
& I cry alone at night when
you aren't here laying down

It doesn't really matter, though,
staying stuck in the past hurts;
looking to the future without you,
that is truly what doesn't matter

i can’t remember the sound
of his voice when he
told me to stop crying.
i know it was angry
but i can no longer hear
the inflection that made my heart
drop, my pulse speed up
because in that moment
he was my father.
in that moment i was scared
and shrunk away from him,
but his arm acted as an apology
around my shaking shoulders.
my dad never apologizes
after he makes me cry.
He stayed up with me that night
and i cried in his arms until six am.
the pack of cigarettes we had been sharing
was gone by sunrise.
i no longer remember how
that display of love made me feel wanted
because now i am left with a benzo haze
over the fulfilling moments, and a
clear recollection of the times i was hurt.
but i cut our cord and buried it in the sand
and i no longer feel the burden of love.
i no longer feel the burden of loving
and am back to shake alone at the thought
of my dad raising his voice.