I used to spend my nights
With only bottles of alcohol as friends
They didn't care if I talked about
Love or
Dying or
Life or
Anything
They listened

Months later, I met her
She didn't mind if I talked about
Love or
Dying or
Life or
Anything
She listened
And said she loved me
And I abandoned my old friends
Because she gave me the bittersweet buzz
Without the bitter

I never liked the bitter

I want to talk to you. Tell you how I feel, blurt it all out.
And I know you’d understand, but I am bereft of courage.
I feel a sudden wave of sadness, one that requires no medium.
One that is impulsive and violent.
I don’t want to talk to you, I want you to see right through me.

I managed to look away every time our paths crossed.
You were running late that day, and your friend had saved you a spot one seat away from me.
One seat closer to me.
My heart an overheated chamber, my mind a chaotic library of thoughts, I panicked and got up.
Anywhere, but here.
Anywhere, but next to you.

i swear i would love you, if only i knew how to.

Coffee stains
Ink on paper
Achy flames
A heavy-hearted painter

You walk into the classroom and a light breeze brushes up against my skin.
I can breathe again.

You're sitting across from me and all I can think of is how your lips would feel against mine.
You get up to sit next to me and I can almost see my chest rising and falling so fast that I begin to think if you've noticed, too.
You stare at me in a way that gets me all chocked up.
You brush your fingers through my hair and the feeling of your fingertips on my neck is so familiar.
Hold me close, and tell me you still love me.
Tell me not a day has gone by, since we've stopped talking, where you haven't loved me.
Tell me that even though you hate me for all the times I've hurt you, you will still hold me.
Hold me, and never let me go.