I walked away from that blurry night
With my back wrapped nakedly in soft silk, tossing and turning in a fight
Your brother in so much pain and your mother in a scurry to find her words
You tell me it's alright, and that there's nothing to fear
But anybody who knows you knows the lies you mend are sincere

I wanted to leave your family there in the fog of that old apartment building and resume myself to the lone cars sifting through the highway by 407
But I knew that I wanted you to follow me to share that peace I've found in the the hours past eleven
And as I walked away on a familiar stranger road
I turned around to expect your goofy smile, a smile that read you would come back with me to see my life
I called out to you, and let my words fight the silent in the night
And as I turned around, all I found was you and your mother far off in the corner of my sight
With a *** and a garden trowel, and you said to me that you'd bring it light
Although your father was never there, and most of your life you'd spent scared, you planted a sunflower in the mourning of his leaving glare
And like northern lights, did the sun rise that morn, when you told me that you wish, like this sunflower, that you could be borned
That although hurt and never to let go, you'd make the best of it, to give light to your scorn

If only I could learn from this, to make the best of everything as you do
But maybe I'm just still waiting for you to come back with me so that we can start new
So that you and I can watch the sunset, and I can find light too

I preach a sermon unheard of those herding
Filling the ever-expanding sky with a lesson worth learning
But willful do the people of the ground need to be
To pluck the thread of true happiness and glee
To bend the frame of minds, and alter the realm of their own time

Many collapse their own airways in fear of other frequencies interfering
But can we not see our voice is the only bearing in this mechanical clockwork we're fearing

Humble voices worth applauding hide behind the voices
Passive to all, in procrastination they fall
The reality of loss can only sober one briefly
Till we return to binge on our shallow lives so deeply

A predecessor forgotten imbues nothing but doubt
And all confidence you had will soon disperse
If you don't take a look at who you are and converse
Comparisons unneeded, will only leave you wrought
Your inner-being forever saught

A flock will the sapien always be rooted to
Wingspans of all lenghts suited
Every flight pattern a breeze transcended
Only in this will you find that you grew
Only in this will you find that you flew

I want to have kids, beautiful, beautiful children with someone I love one day.

There's a hole in my stomach
Everything I swallow gets stuck inside of me
All the cheap drinks and the whispers that escape your fragile smile
All the lies inbetween the kitchen tiles

A ghost from my past is playing with fire like an iconoclast
And I'm trying on a new identity, yeah I'm looking through my wardrobe for a different one everyday

Seems like the only thing the music critics see is new adjectives to leave
You're the prettiest puppet I've ever seen
But somebody else is pulling the strings
They're the one making all your words sing

My pockets been spent, but I forgot my wallet was in it
I lost all my power, now I'm mute every time you throw a fit
You're angry because your mind has become a cinema of hypothetical skits
Because you're thinking about it at night, and in morning with your oatmeal and grits
Trying to knit together a torn pocket, you're sitting where you sit, the only thing you've ever done about it is gotten lit
It just keeps tearing apart, you're tearing apart, you're getting sick of it

Stuck somewhere between Sunday and infinity
In purple tabloids that make life seem bland
I harden my carapace to a sick world
I conjure a future, hopeless
When the hand of God is still tied behind his throne

Cast iron April skies **** my insides
And this town's scars have never looked worse
These thoughts are too expensive
At the bottom of a bottle, and the ashes I flick
I hope to be born again a Phoenix
But the coping is just a trick
Distractions are a fix, nothing ever gets fixed

And I was having this conversation with myself last week
And next
But it's hard to talk yourself down, when yourself gets the best of you and perpetuates this mess
I am sticks and stones, no use for bones, when your words mean nothing, and you find yourself alone

Sweet recluse
Hiding beneath your sheets
Pale body, shaky heart
Nobody will hear your bird noises in that room
Nobody will sing back
So lonely, I heard you talking to your insomnia
Will we have to cancel Christmas again
You won't see New Years if you're still looking over your shoulder
Please come out your cocoon, cause it's getting colder
Without you

It's really hard not to talk to her when I can't sleep.

I'm always fine during the day. Usually I can distract myself then. But as soon as my mind's empty. It's the first thing. I try to think of the horrible things she did to me, but it doesn't make me feel any better. It doesn't make me miss her less.

It just makes me want to live forever in those good moments we shared. Indefinite bliss. The things that kept me hanging on, when I should've let go.

The smile, the way her nose pinched. The way she liked certain things just the way I did, and for the same reasons. The roller coaster rides. The times she would open up to me and let me in. Her soft skin, her messy hair, the way she looked when she woke up, and when she was asleep. Her small hands, her defined back, the way she would lean into me when she was sad. I liked the way she wore my t shirts, and when she would lend me her eyes. I just don't know if I was the exception, or if I'm just another guy.

Should I care? Probably not. Not now. Not after everything that happened, but I do, and I know that I will. No matter how big that demon is inside me, the love that I hold will always be stronger. It feels like there's a holy war inside of me, and I don't know whose side to take. I'd like to believe that light prevails, but does that mean it is my fault when love fails?

Sitting solid on a thinking throne
Drinking bottles that sing melancholy tones
Singing lone, resonating to your bones
Your fragile little frame cannot save the show
Not when you're casting skys clouding with crows

Your mind is pale, sick to it's stomach
Everything up there can't reconcile, but luck
It's begun to resonate quietly like a comets tail
When your playing on mental jungle gyms of shale

I'm sure there's things that keep you up
Drugs, and alcohol, and fasting all day
A cyclical belt of asteroid tales
You think so much you've burnt an image
Of cotton dreams, so soft and harsh, but somehow sail
You may never grasp them, but you've reached so far you've become so frail

It's hard to try, it's even harder to pry
Open your heart, and let yourself cry
The castles you build are built of tears, and the cemetery near is calling your fears
The foundation is weak, and your pastor you seek, but everything you've found thus far, oblique
Cast your shadows as you will, but they're just funny puppets you've conjured in the night still

I met you in a sea of people
Makes me feel like it's real
I can't really tell now
Guess I just gotta take some time to heal

Anywhere in between the throwaway poems
And the melancholy music
Where my bed becomes my home
I'm losing it
Just when I thought I had you

The mornings become long when
Your tongues running dry
And you're not thirsty
For anything other than a numb
And I'm, I'm trying to pick up the crumbs
But the floor boards grow farther apart everyday

We're getting older faster
And history is last year
I fear I'm losing time darling
I can't even tell if a future of you and I is near

It's an odd feeling to not know if you're willing to wait for the future
Or have it taken away in your sleep
A freak accident, an existential leap
I want those chemicals to tell me I'm going somewhere more
Then here
What a high it would be, all that DMT
In you brain, just slipping through the seams

And here I fiddle my thumbs
Indulging myself in nostalgic songs
Where do I find the time
To redo all my rights and wrongs
Think it's bout time I get out of bed
Before the only thing I have left is my head

Terra plated eyes, green of intention
Your pupils like pangea, the only homage for mine
Your satellite strengthens every time I feel some sign
Humble freckles spot your soft skin, but you're not quiet, nor shy
The definition of your face dances neon in the night, as we dampen the grass beneath us with our feet
Every smooth curve that forms you is a pleasure to my sight
My somber summer softened by your heartbeat
Such a common sound to hear, but for some reason I have a feeling I'll never forget yours
The first time I knew love was real, but to say that would have left my heart sore
We made that tent our canvas as we sharpened our shadows in the middle of that night
It could have turned any feeling of remorse or regret into right
You are nameless to all but me, and you don't understand that just yet
But I hope that one day you'll wake up when you think of me as the sun sets.

Art is not made for you
Art is not made for thyself
Art is made within itself
That's real passion

I wish that I was art.

Dead TV channels and corn puffs on floor like skinemax and taxes on the poor
Stained coffee tables and sunlight through the glass pane door
The aftermath of ****** and scores
All of us have some kind of drug in our veins and pores

That ***** outdoor patio, with the edgy tattooed girls
Where we used to turn over chairs to find pearls
The 90% would always put us into a swirl
The moonshine would always help us unfurl

Saints on high our porches rumble
Where secrets held are worse than those under the Vatican’s
But we’re as dead as the mannequins
And we’re lost to our ambitions that we humble

Like kindred souls around a fire we lost ourselves to gravity
Our mornings filled with sweet nothings, our nights with serendipity
Where we found peace and home in entropy
In the lull of a dogtown in the middle of the world

I remember when we were kids
We used to pretend we were astronauts
I remember when we were kids we used to pretend
Now we can barely fit inside the orbits in our heads

Am I your lover, or am I just your cargo ship?
Am I your lover or am I just full of ****?
Am I your lover or am I just your cargo ship?

I'm calling back to mission control
I'm lost inside all the signals in your head
I never meant to hurt you
But I swear I'll make it right in the end
I said I swear I'll make it right if you love me till the end

I remember when I was a kid
We'd always play hide and seek
But I only ever hid
I was blushing in the brush
I was missing out on what I could have caught
So tell me am I your cargo ship?
Or am I just some lonely stupid astronaut?
Tell me am I your lover or am I just full of ****?

Jesus Christ, why don't I understand?
We're just atoms in the eve of another light
Balancing our chemistries on a million strands
Will it all happen again, or will it end with night

Darling, Eve,
Heaven seems so beautiful now, but when you're dead, what's a life to you then?
Living on the premises that you'll be living forever, with out pain.
Balancing your chemistries on a spectrum of gray

We believe in answers
We're believers
We're in love with creators
We like to believe
We got that faith

And when I try to reach for the sky,
My roots remind me,
That heaven's just too high
Your minds gotta be a concept of it's own
We're self-grown

We believe in answers
We're believers
We're in love with creators
We like to believe
We got that faith

So cloud your head in the sky,
But keep your ground
Cause in the end will the world finally bend
And what used to be round, just might suspend

Wish I wasn't so broken
Cause everyone around doesn't want to be a friend
They just want to fix me
They want to turn my static into something more dynamic
They follow me around and orbit my dramatics
But I'm not much of a fan-addict

I just sedate
And when the dark rolls around
I know that I will live forever
I will never separate, and you will not see me
I will live in the dark forever
I will decorate the back of my eyelids with stars and coffins
I will put you to your rest, put you back to bed, where you came from
Behind time sockets

You will see the moon twitch with every night that passes
But the moon will always be full
Have fun with your illusions
I'll be recreating in a star of nuclear fusion

Give me your life, I will create your excuses
I will grind your ideas into fine powder
I will make a solution
I will travel so fast away from here I will undo the future
Till the fabric of space time seems a bit looser

I will live forever, you will not see me
I am as invisible as dark matter
I will be as swift and destructive as solar wind
I will put you to rest, I will put you back to bed, where you came from
Behind time sockets

Guess last night got a little intense
All part of your orchestrated pretense
Hence the midnight foreplay, or was everything you said just hearsay
Were we ******* in your room or were those just rumors
Maybe I was just high
That's why I had such a hard time seeing through your lies
Getting caught up in between your thighs
Guess I missed all the morse code hidden in your sighs
Best friends? Goodbye.

Cancel Haloween, I'm not the monster here
Fall's my favorite season, but hell October's doggie days for me
Stagnant rivers, and pockets full of leaves
I try to run a little faster just to escape these things catching up to me
Big furrys and little monsters at my knees

Oh, geeze-la-weeze
I need to feed on something sweet
So give me your neck girl,
I need your flesh, give me your blood, your best
Give me your glitter, your neon *******
Oh, get me the hell out of this monsters nest

Adrenaline pumped into me, I feel every blood platelet intimately rushing through me.
Radioactively synthesized, authenticity arise
Don't wait on me babe, I'm just trying to synchronize

Worry about me, and I'll let the tension build
Till I get the attention fill I need, babe.
Raid my mind with all your battleships and heavy war machines
Break me down until you find something worth keeping

I've bartered the black market selling love for lust, and my dreams for less
I barter for pleasures, but I always want more
I've lived a shallow life, assured
I've become a monster, and a *****, all while trying something new
That I was told was a cure
Now I follow with the bewildered beasts boohoo
Now I follow with the bewildered beasts boohoo

Your bar nights, your ****** sleeves
She's a massichist in her own thoughts
Apparently that's what everyone's bought

Inbetween her mascara, her eyes are like beads
Like little planets, pulling me into her every plead
But I can't get close enough to read
I'm stuck in her orbit
I'm constantly following the way she leads

Just a couple more drinks
Let the radio play, maybe the right song 'n she'll dance
Maybe, maybe, I'll think

I feel the strangest gravity
Girl, I don't even know you
But you got a pull like no other
You make me feel like a creep

It's that song, that particular feeling
You see, you felt, but you can't anymore
It's that smile, that dance that you remembered
But you can't anymore
It's that strange gravity

Misery is like black chalk on a black chalk board
When paper's my only friend and my pen is my sword
Or a cocked gun loaded with cheap bullets
Doesn't matter where it's pointed, the only way is forward
I don't know how to let out my demons
They're echoing inside of my skull

Your Greek lips could melt souls
Your heart is the only thing that makes mine feel whole
But I can't get to you, I'm still inside
Because your body makes my head a void
When I look at you, I can't look anywhere else
You're so there I feel destroyed

But I can't get to you
You're on the other side of the Berlin wall
And there was never a revolution
I've got nothing to break down your institutions
And my social policies tumble in your presence
You're my lord, and I'm just a lonely tenant
Wish you'd save me, or kick me out
Now doesn't that sound religious?

It's so hard to get to you
When I have to get through you
Because I'm old school in your new news station
I'm an antenna in your static field
And all of my memories are in the radio waves
I can't hear them, but I feel the vibrations
Wish you'd save me from you
Beautiful architect of my world

When the streets are made for nothing but thinking    
It's the weight of the water that's caused our sinking
It's a loss of feeling that's made me lighter
It's everything around                              
That makes me neutrally bound
          
The only writers block is the writer
It's the kind of thing that makes a man with a pencil and paper a fighter
Like the paper's jumping up at you like a, like a alligator
                                          
But it's hard to chalk down all the mistakes, cause when you're trying so hard you're just being fake

You just gotta learn to let it, let it all flow
Show your all and let em all know
Just how you're feeling that blow, even if it means one or two bad lines, that's how you feel though
Cause life ain't a poetry book
It's all the points in between the pages that we missed
It's all the things that make us factories of emotions,
A crook with feelings creeping through the motions
Turning pages, trying to **** it all up like the books eroding

Don't you talk to me about feeling
Naw you ain't know what you be dealing, everyone's got there own ****, you can't tell me mines to be concealing
See, I'm a material void of expressionism
Cause I told everyone what I feel, not for the sake of impressionism
They chose to see inside and learn a lesson without all the criticism

Everything I've learned is turning me into a crustaceans fossil
Hard to the shell but brittle to the touch, and I preach my **** like a ******* apostle
You make me feel from the inside and I'll be your crutch, but you're gonna need more than a ******* rock hammer to open me up

My words I mend to make up for what I conceal        
But as I sit here thinking about how I feel
It's gonna take more than this to make me heal
Now let me dilute as I talk to the god inside my head and make a deal, something to end the pain and suffering I have concealed at the expense of everything real

Time to concoct something the doctors can't counter
Callous my temper with imitation, an elation that makes an earthquake feel a bit sounder
If I told you I was a chameleon you would think I'm a laughing sensation
Like a small town crowd of people with personalities no deeper than flounder
But if you hit me I temper like brass in a manner of class saturation, trying to become a metal that cannot be bent or shaken by voices that are louder

Your mirror's can't see me, only you
I copy and pasted your binary in my caffeine induced computer architect blues
If I told you the color of envy was green, would you see right through my chameleon mirage tailored J. Crew

My scales aren't slimy, although you'd figure so by the way I march around in the conviction of my intelligent muse
I'm so perfect in being perfect, it's almost a clue

But paint me another color of your choosing, to mask the mask I'm wearing over my bruising
You wouldn't know what I scream behind all that I'm hiding because it's sealed under all of the mumbles of my crying

I'm calling your faintest noticeable attraction to grow to know my horrendous transaction interactions
When you sit in your desk chair with your tobacco relaxion, judging every crescendo of my orchestra tastes and core reactions

What say you demon for your jailing taxes, and your horns and your perfect brand named wood stained glasses?
Your cuff is off, your deliverance remarkable, you're becoming a ******* classic just by the stale look that your grin passes
Im not ready for aerobics, I'm not elastic, most will tell you if you try bending me into fantastic, I'm not very static
That's why imitation is suicide when you're not dynamic, looking down the barrel of a factory stack of envy plastics

You saved me on your desktop
A cyber purgatory every night
I see all your bits and all of your bytes
I'm tacked onto your back drop
Listening to all your lies and all your hiphop
Going through all your pictures, like the tinted frame of your sandy beach flipflops
And the guy you met at that party last night, the one that really hit it off

What am I to you?
Was I ever your addiction
Or was I just the drug that caused this confliction
Or was every word you spoke fiction

Why do I sing about you, you don't exist
You were just a figment of my imagination
Something I wrote, maybe it wasn't your novel at all
You were just someone I met, I never knew You were just part of the crowd
You were just one voice, I heard you, loud
They say you can only actually love a person once
Leaves my mind trailing through breakfast and lunch
With no decision by dinner, maybe a hunch
You were just someone I saw at night, you were my alcohol, you were my blood thinner

I'll never actually know you
You were my moonshine, and you were still
You didn't say anything, I spoke for you
I am god, I created you
You are the end of every line I write
You're the only one I see at night

It's the most painful thing
To think you love someone
And not really know
Cause the distance is feign
And my face droops from the pain

Oh we're not so old
But we're growing older everyday
And that's why miles are turning into minutes
Every day it takes me to get to you
To make you feel again, alive

All I want, is to find comfort in those caffeine eyes
And relieve the pain hidden behind
Rest your head on my chest
And let my heart sing a lullibi

I just want to know who's heart is going to win this race
Because I don't know if I can pace myself now
I cross my fingers we tie, and cross the finish line
With fingers locked
Cause I'd hate to finish holding my own
But if that's how it's gotta be,
Then so be it

Oh we're not so old
But we're growing older everyday
And that's why miles are turning into minutes
Every day it takes me to get to you
To make you feel again, alive
To look into those caffeine eyes

I guess you've heard it all
All the sweet cliche romaticize
When they tell you you're the most beautiful
You just roll your eyes and sigh,
It's they who ruin it for the other guys

How am I to convince you that in such a short period of time
You had taken a mime and brought out someone much more sublime
You taught a man with so much inside sounds he never knew he could make
And when there was nothing left to hide
All of his dark emotions had subsided his heart quakes
And his heart filled with something, that for once was one sided
He knew he loved you, at what was something practically first-sighted


There are no tears, his eyes are dry
But maybe that's because he never got to say his goodbyes
Instead he's stuck with a pain inside that was greater than before he met your evil side

But did you lie to him, because you led him on
You confided in him
When tears ran down your face and you told him that he was genuine
Or was that just something cliche of the feminine
Have you ruined it for the rest of them?
He's lost and confused, and often thinks of you
I bet you with feelings as strong as his, he'd make his way back to you
Some how, some way, how will he ever convince you?

Cameras are flattering until they flash
The depiction of Kings and queens until the shutter castles
Evangelical in nature what our pictures capture
Where the greens of your garden meet my pasture

I try to find my way, but only find myself as a knight with no sense of direction
Fighting for home, or for throne, the question begs itself
Where the answer is another question
Intrepid in nature,
Why do I play the game without something to wager

And slaves and peasants and king’s all the same in the end
Whilst the keep remains high and grand at the expense of what the treasury lends

Where pigeons can not land and letters bury the foundations
And there the queen remains, frivolous with men fascinated by their own incantations
In her jewelry and robes, her stallions, her fields, in a glow forged by ignorance and fascination

And here I am all the same, chasing after the same libations

God you're something
In a world of nothing
You're the only color that pops
When everything I see is in gray
When you're around I forget that frowning is a thing that people do

I never want to remember what it's like to frown, and live with it hiding underneath
I never want to remember what it's like to be alone in such a big town
I want hear you say it, I want to sweep you off your feet
I want your words to mend me, I want to feel complete

I wish running away was an option
But I don't even have a car
All of my studies and every job just makes me feel more here when I want to be there
Wish I could fly away when I haven't even earned my wings yet, everything just feels sub par

Boss told me the other day that she's been around since the 90's
She told me to get out of here
I told her I don't have enough time

In between all the chaos
I try to use every minute to the fullest, but the hands on the clock don't want to high five
They just look back at me like I'm not even alive
Maybe sticking around here is at my intuitions cost, maybe more than the cost of my tuition
I'm just ivory in a sack of skin, play me like a piano you just bought
Cause otherwise I'm just gonna sit in this corner of town to rot

Felt like I've known for a while that the cracks in these streets have grown to wide
Tired of looking through a microscope
Stars and galaxies forming before we see them
Don't need to know the future to know they'll still be molecules and isotopes
There's some divine finger pointing the way I should go, what's looking me in the face, toe to toe just telling me to go, to go
Call me Lucifer because if I keep bowing down this'll be my fall
I've got free will but the world looks so **** tall

What do you feel when you jot down that stark syntax
Do you feel full in your stomach of pretentious factions
Building your philosophy with Lincoln logs and political tactics
What a young poet feels when he's unsure of what his feelings mean and what to write in between those brackets
Laying to rest past selves in a row of six feet deep holes lined with caskets

Sometimes the words we write have more meaning than we put to them
Funny how a letter or a word can make a difference in self
Life can be like reading a book and putting it back on the shelf
Or the shelf gnome right next to it that stares back but doesn't
You give false meaning when you don't know how to feel
That's why the best poems are rewritten and not written
That why I'm on top of this world,

and im flying, not sitting

I'm a wave length
And you pluck me like a guitar string
And the sounds I make you'll never hear anywhere else
But expect every up to have a frown
Expect every noun I say, to be turned down
Put me in a bath, give me my crown
My mother never told me to look both ways before I crossed the street
She can't stop me now while I cross the road and let myself bleed
I told you I couldn't tell you everything
And my loyalty to you has surpassed the loyalty I owe to me
But at least I left you my seed
I'm sorry, but I'm taking my greed with me

All the old folks
Spricking and spracking
Over there coffee, so thick and bold
Talking about all the small business' roles
Disbanded their diner, for that cheap coffee over at 'ol McDonald's home

I kept your note in my head
And I hear it every time the pitch scratches through my ear
When the music isn't enough and the speakers start to buzz
I'm counting my cards and I'm planning my next move to fall in love
I lost my best friend, but also my dove
Don't know when I'm going to push you away, and say enough is enough

Fall caught my attention
Seeing the beautiful leaves stray fleeting
I've been biting at your heels for so long some may say I'm teething
I'm young and my hearts still beating, people say I should jump and drink and **** until I'm bleeding
But all I want is dirt roads, a home, and a season that's never fleeting
I want so much some may say I'm needy
Some may say I'm always day-dreaming

Keeping this inner monologue, going to keep myself from thinking
Sometimes it makes me feel bigger, sometimes I feel like I'm shrinking
If I'm inflamed, don't inquire a doctor, just grab me some cortozone
If I'm crying, don't ask her why, just hang up the telephone

I remember speaking to the child on the corner of Robusto and Jane
Who I gave a quarter just to give her her way
She was so easy to please with her parking meter brain
Something as simple as that can either ruin or make your day

If we all came out of an egg would the question beg a God who cared
To give you such a soft shell and such a cynical stare
We come in scared and we leave impaired
Torn from womb and put underground only to be the remains of something of someone, from somewhere

We will be relics, and not the kind behind museum glass
Just little pieces of paper on the walls of others who soon too will pass
And the little girl so pleased with donations
Will soon be reaped of her tumultuous temptations
When her ironclad youth is misled by its sail

I can't dream if it's from this closet
Every thing I want to do just sounds so ******* pompous
I talk about what I want to do and everybody thinks I've lost it
I'm on the radar, but I'm the darkest blip
Walking the plank on purpose, S.S. *******, I'm off this ship

I feel like I've finally got it, and of course then I've lost it
I write a masterpiece, "hey where's the follow up?"
Like me and my girl jinxin the future with a prenup
'Oh you know we just trying to be safe,' right *****, let's marry up this **** then
You can take it all just split them assets
Get me bent with no price or rent

See I ain't tryna get around just tryna win this
Can't seem to get to the top when I'm the only one in the bracket
Try to be a team player, but my teams full of *******
I'm Harry Potter *****, imma smash that *** like quidditch
I gonna hit that pinata, till the cash flow get me riches

I talk ***** but I miss the way you talk
British, you a fit birdy, girl
I eat my grits, but I ain't really eating till after we're flirty, girl

Take you to the back room, pour some wine and then some feelings, watch some mad men and tell you bout my last girl
I said I like the way you talk to me but I think I just like how I can talk to you
You're an outlet, and I'm plugging, your sticking around, but you should know I'm just thuggin
And maybe I just say the ***** things I say to mask my potential under promiscuity cause I got a real problem promising myself I'll solve my problems too
(I'd never admit it though)

See that's just something me and my crew do
I guess it masks all the little ***** blues 'fake cries'
During this poem I think I grew three inches for you  
In my heart
See it's so easy to gravitate to you like your the sun and I'm Mercury, I'm too close and you're burning me alive, but I can't pull myself apart, girl it'll never work
We can't stop Miley, that's melancholy for sure (but keep the twerk)

You make me feel like Frank Sinatra, and I can't even sing
So **** confident, you let me discover myself, I'm deep, I can feel, I'm Mike Tyson, Kung Pao chicken, I bring it all to the ring
All these little kids on the streets learning how to *** from me 'like fricken'
The thought of you got me sick to the stomach, it's sticking
..
Too bad you're just a ******* fling

People people, get down on your knees
Come come, kiss the apostle's feet
We'll tell you of a man if you give us just a tad bit of time
Give us your life, and we'll tell you how to get to your ancestors time
We'll tell you of purpose, it's up there for sure
You just have to reach out and grasp it, but your soul is the fare
If you lest the firey brimstone of beneath your gods feet, his creation he shall not repeat.
Your contract is here, sign at the bottom and you will find purpose near
You will live after living, and find purpose there, you dumb humans, why are you looking everywhere but right here

Were you colorful or was I just using crayons
Were you outgoing or did I just forget your outline
I'm looking for new colors to help me keep your ambivalence aligned

Wrestling with art skews shapes into hues
I painted me into the pictures too
Am I just washed out or am I using a lot of blue
You're running away and I'm left here confused
Did I forget to use glue or was I just used
I thought I had control, but you were drawing too

I drew a house around me, with a corner too
I forgot what season it is
I'm losing color, I'm turning into a silhouette
I lost my thought bubble in the last month I can remember
It was June.
The only thing I have left is a question mark
That I'm trying to bend into a sword
But I don't have the same crafting supplies that I drew with you

My hair is so full of debris
My beard is becoming a monument to better times
There's a little devil on my shoulder, and a damp cigarette in my lip
There's a glass of stale water on my dresser I've been staring at for days
I'm still recovering from your explosion

I can't get in reach of my arms and legs
My mind has deteriorated from the entropy
I'm so angry all the time that the muscles on my forehead have distinguished the letter V
You were a black diamond that I crashed on
And now I'm trutting down the mountain in broken skis

Where were you when I believed
You opened the door for yourself and then you receded
You were my lover, but now you're a stubborn little dead girl I seeded
I replaced you with medication I write your name over and over in my head as I bleed
You were the only one who could ever relieve me of this pain and you left me with that need

I'm not even sure that I can be fixed anymore.

Built on a pyre a man of death
A man of belief, searing away from his flesh sheath
A sword of fire, a song of wind
His body is carried into the thin

Night is certain, the moon reminds us of this
Even during day the waves may be ruthless
But without a day's work a night would be fruitless

You are a child, you are bliss, and you know nothing like the rest of us
We can never know a thing for certain
We can only see shadows through a curtain
So believe away and know that you will be safe
We can see what we see but never know why
Nothing is true, nothing is a lie
But would it be stupid to say that we all live in the shadow of the same God?

You've got your hair in a mat
And your shower is some distant planet
You said so many times you were going to do that, that, and that
When you were in over your ego, like a ***** little aristocrat
You scratch paint chips off the walls, and you can't put them back

You'd never take a life, not even your own
Although you feel it's not worth it anymore
You're looking for some way out, but death's a corner shaped door
Nothing looks fair in life if we're keeping score

So you watched the kids the other day
Rolling die, and making moves, it's just a play
But you're just a pin stuck in your haystack mind
And your personalities are the only friends you've made in the past 365 nights
All your hope is lost in your heart under that dim light

I know how you feel, when you say that death is a corner shaped door
And you want it to take you in the night
Or in a mishap like a car crash or a messy bar fight
But sometimes your head gets ahead of your sight
Sometimes you just have to endure until it's alright

Have you ever stared at the wall so long it started to swell
Thought so long you put yourself into a circle of hell
Sitting there on the front porch in your underwear with a cigarette hanging out the corner of your mouth
Breeze flowing through your hair casting your gaze at  splotchy clouds and roughed suburban shingles that line your crooked vision
Haven't shaved or showered for three days
You don't even smoke but for some reason you like that taste of nostalgia
Grades are in the trash, and you don't even have your chess pieces aligned to start playing
Thinking through ever girl you've used, and every other bar you've been to
Now you're stuck
Sitting ***** with a **** eating grin on your mug
There's never been a more lonely sound then the muffled wall sound of two people who are not
Helps you picture the perfect playground for your imagination to take off
Something that speaks in a language you can't decipher with your own clever English
Put down that pencil, to get out of this you're going to need more than a writing utensil
Where are we going to now, you ask?
Dunno, somewhere new, that sounds pretty good.

I'm guilty of admiring my works and not others, that's what's silly about my self compassion dance
When the only thing I've got left is the narcissistic klaxon that my self-righteous ambulance horn trances

If it's killing me, Bukowski would be proud, because he loved his liquor, but he loved killing himself more
He'd say, "**** your religion! Pour this! This will bring you closer to God!"
It's hard for an atheist to swallow, and to dabble in the tasting of sin,
But Jesus was famous for turning water into wine, with no grapes mashed or thinned

The shield of amaretto is strong and smooth
You can put your cruise control on if you feel amused and soothed
But in darker times it will make your feeling woozy and moved
But **** does it make you feel more like yourself
The you'est you can be, with impeccable speech craft and gentlemanly muse
Helps you pay the dues that you have abused in your passive seasonal attitudes

So what say ye Devine for thou'est darkest temptations, when you've created your own demons, hells, and abrasions
Seems like you're the one holding the power ***** of creation
Ye 'ol Devine *******

Getting sick of my best friends
Just want to meet some people on the surface
Everyone's a little ugly on the inside
Or maybe I'm just blind, haven't been able to look past it, it just resides

But I don't need to be picked apart by you, and I don't want to pick you apart
Because maybe we're the problem
Maybe I should stop trying and study hard and go to work
Get caught up in this dishroom small talk
Talk to her till I don't have to think anymore and
Get caught up in what could have been

Council of my mind
Why do we gather here today?

The wraps around your hands are weathered from your anger
Your passion is whimsical as the wind of the lower valley
Why is it you bounce between boundaries like the hellish grip of possession
Has your confidence not found its way to its obsession?

I've lost my way, yes I know, it's the silence that creeps into my veins and into my bones
That makes me so fragile I could break with the throw of a stone
Most of the time I can move forward like fire
And every breath of vanity feeds oxygen to the fire
I could singe every tree in the forest, but what I seek is hiding in the ocean
I could not grasp her attention for more than a second, it would take a lovers potion

Have you not seen what you have put yourself through to grasp something you can't feel?
You couldn't catch a fish if you had a pole and a reel
Why do you try to can the sardine when you do not have the seal?

I do not mean to keep her in a cage, all I want is for her to be free

Can you not see how happy she is,
Maybe you should leave her the way she is before you scare her back into the sea
Let her roam the land, let her be free
Asking her to dance would be like putting her on a leash

But if she accepts the dance I will not hesitate
If it means her feeling caged then I will join her in fate
It will mean the beginning of a new era bound by heart and by hand
And the end to an era shaped like an hourglass, running out of sand

Mom, dad, you were really good at pretending you were
I thought that we were cookie cutter family before I knew what I know about you now
I never really thought I had any kind of issues with you
Never really thought I'd ever have any kind of issues to conceal under this house
I feel like I can see your true colors now, but sometimes I think they're colors I could never comprehend, it all just makes me want to leave town

I know you've done a lot for me dad, you care, you really do, but you're losing control of your own emotions
I can't even talk to you, and I wish all the phone calls weren't awkward, and I know I'll have to call you today too, and act like everything isn't already eroding
How can I keep my cool after all the bad news
It's hard to follow in your steps, when you don't even have shoes
I'd like to say the things you said would just leave a bruise
But they left a scar, and no matter what you do you're still going to lose

If you ever go back you'll see things aren't the same, and everything that happens is just chemical, so no matter what happens it's meant to be, but you never even tried to make the best of it here, you never accepted that destiny before your feet
You can say you had your life ripped away from you, but you think it was easy for me?
When we got here I was abused, for the first couple years I didn't have any real friends, and was socially abused
I'm kind of glad that happened though, because I'm happy with who I am, and I think that all that ******* was worth something too
You have to take everything that happens and make it the best you can, if you don't try that Dad, then what's your plan
Please, I'd like to know, what cards have you got in your hand?
You're not even playing the game, I suppose 'you're not a fan'

You can blame anybody you want to for your life, but you make your own decisions in the end
And even though you might have made the right one, it wasn't the best one for you and your end's
All it was, was making end's meet, never enjoying life, all you ever did was take a seat
Watch all my year's fly by with a breeze
You can't make up for that, and I'm going to make sure I don't make the same mistake
If I died trying to be happy, then so be it, it was meant to be
I will never make the same mistake, the biggest lesson you ever taught me was unintentional
Everything just taught me how to see things you could never see

If X is Y then why should X and Pi be multiplied
Because if X is Y then maybe Pi would shy away and look for a different x that's worth the time to multiply
But Pi is complex and never knows what it wants
One second Pi's confident and loves to flaunt, but at other times it's insecure and its anxiety tends to wonder and haunt
Pi doesn't really know what it needs, and definitely doesn't know what it wants
It's hard to make commitments but in the late of night lonliness taunts

Pi is a complex character, a stand up guy
But the more he thinks the more his mind becomes like the roll of a die
But pi, pi is too caught up in X's and Y's
Independent or dependent, and full of lies
They're all the same or trying to be too different all of the time
If only Pi could see that it should be with someone more like Pi
Because multiplication could last forever, not just on the roll of a die

What's going on behind those seizuring eyes
Did you swallow the pill, I can't find you inside my head
Watch your face change shape under the influence
Under rapid eyes that dart behind blinding seas of white

Shadows contour through colors I've never seen before
It's my world and I can't even find you
Your face is hidden behind a mask you wear in this 4th dimension
Where shapes convex your face into hexagon sugarlaced cinematics

I'm tripping right through the fractions of my life, my destination is infinity
I'm nil and nil, trying to find the love you saved for me in the games we play
My bicycles got 7 wheels and I'm only getting more lost in myself
Till I found seven men in seven trees and listened to the most romantic thing I've ever seen
And my ears saw the things I had forgotten and my heart found you for me
I was looking for you in my mind I never figured I could find you in my heart

Running away I see
Stars dancin' in my rearview
Momma's got eyes in the back of her head
She's got all the right intentions
My father's never been quite the jazz player either
But he's got his ambitions too

Sometimes we gotta scream louder than
Everything, just till it's alright again
Sometimes we gotta dream louder than
The rest of them.

Wasn't raised with what was left over, no
I guess you could say I was raised right
I know you always wanted to keep the family together
But don't let it cost you your ambitions currency
Don't let it cost you your happiness

You only stay famous for so long though
Man, I don't know
Just like the stars we lose our luster
I guess that's why we learn to never trust her
Never to let her lust you

Sometimes we gotta scream louder than
Everything, just till it's alright again
Sometimes we gotta dream louder than
The rest of them.

Give me your hand, and we'll run away
Together this time we dance in the pain
We sustain this reign together
I don't care how much I've gotta miss her
My heart's already in a conundrum
Of quadruple bypass twister
Just tell me, should I kiss her
Just tell me someone, i'm going to miss her