I see you in the Fall
The red leaves whipping in the wind like your hair flowing behind you.
The chaotic movement connect to something
strong
sturdy
safe.
I see you in the fall.
The wind screaming in my ear
like you when the schizophrenia kicked in
terrifying
but beautiful
in a broken sort of way.
I see you in the fall.
Like the flowers that bend towards the slightest glimmer of sunlight
just as you would hold onto any ray of hope that came your way
like it was the last time you'd see it
I see you in the fall
as the trees show their branches
it leaves falling like your hair did
Beautiful
despite it's baldness
I saw you in the fall.
But now it's winter and like the leaves on the trees
You are gone.

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I was a different poet a month ago.
I was a different poet last week, as well as yesterday.
I am a new one today
with stories and emotions
that clash and fight with each other
that is why some days my poems are sad
others are happy
because it all depends on what side of me wins today.

When I grow up
I want the world to be happy
Because as of now
It is not

For you see
This world is shrouded in hatred
And love can be bought

All around conveyed love is being traded for physicality

As the players get stronger
And the girl
She cried out to a diety
She doesnt even believe in

Because he left her
Broken
Bruised
And
Pregnant

Leaving her for another girl
One with a bigger rack
And ***
Even though she shook hers
Every night on stage
Baring her body for strangers

Only so when she goes home
He can unleash his rage
So she gives him her money
And he loosens his grip on her
Freshly
Dyed
Hair

Then he'll pretend to care
As he invests her money in his new Jordans
Instead of rehab for his
Crack head lover.

because he never loved her.
If he did He wouldnt be saying
"That baby isn't mine."
So he can spend more time
With the new girl by his side.

A girl who's snorting coke
And lets strangers hands
Travel up her bruised thighs

I Cant be happy seeing this world in this disgruntloed state

Because A young boy hangs up
A flowery dress in a closet full of
dusty skirts and heels

His moms attempt at making him
"Normal"

Because what you don't know is he was born a She
But she wants to be a he
And he doesnt know somewhere out there
A he wants to be a she

But they feel more alone
As their parents threaten to send them to camps
In failed attemps to make them
"Okay" In the eyes of
Their God

So he lays in bed
Blood pouring from his
Self inflicted wounds
One for every missed label
As they call him a her
Or he a she

But they don't see it
"It's just a pronoun right?"
Maybe to you
Because you haven't fought
your whole life
To be called something few
are open eyed enough to see you as.

But he can see it clearly
as he pins back his hair
and puts on his binder

I tend to fall for beautiful destruction.

The ones who will dedicate my favorite love song to me
So when they leave I can't hear it without thinking of them.

The ones who will call late at night
and talk about nothing
Till i drift to asleep
So i cant rest until i hear their voice wish me goodnight.

The ones who will designate an "Our thing"
So whenever I watch "Our Movie"
Or "Our Show"
I'll remember watching it with them
and have to turn it off.

The ones who give me one nickname
So no one can call me "Darling"
without it feeling wrong.

The ones who will make inside jokes
The ones only we know
So whenever someone mentions a small thing
Like soda pop or trailer trash
a small smile will cross my lips
as I remember them.

I tend to fall for someone who takes over the small things in my life
leaving their name all over them
So when they leave
the small things leave too
leaving a whole in my life
as the things that once brought me joy
Will only bring me to tears.

I fall for the ones my mom wouldn't warn me about.

I fall for the ones who make themselves unforgettable.

I fall for the ones who seem to care.

The ones who will spam my inbox
just to get my attention
when they know i feel lonely

The ones who will call
when I'm crying
Just so they can try to cheer me up.

The ones who will say They're proud of me
when I do what to some may be small
but to me is spectacular.

The ones who will listen to my deepest thoughts
Then tell the theirs.

I fall for those who never intend to stay.

I fall for those who will only hurt me.

The ones who when we're together make me feel like heaven.
But when they inevitably leave
Will destroy me.

I tend to fall for Beautiful Destruction.

These moments arent created
They're meant to be
Willamette
Music
You
And me
In this moment
Our bond is stronger than the current
Thats takes so many lives
Human we are
Human we be
But moments like this i'm finally free
Out lives can be washed away
Faster than we can smile about yesterday
And in the fire of our lust
We create our trust
In moments like these
My heart soars higher than vultures
But we arent dead
Not ******* yet
Moments like these remind me
That I am human.

Dreams
They aren't just things that appear at night
They take over your mind and heart and soul
Passion
Is what floods through your veins
When your overcome with who you are
Drive
is that ******* pull
Like gravity that makes you get out of bed
Its that veil that covers your mind of all common sense
When you wanna get where you gotta be
These three things keep us
Alive and help us move on
They are what make great men great
And weak men weak