I traded my tiara for a graduation cap
and walked alone down the aisle.
I left my Barbie dolls for diet pills and Prozac
the day I almost died.

My street where my home sits,
my abandoned kingdom,
has been invaded by drugs, and all the fairy lights
are flashing red and blue.

The day I left, I packed my innocence,
and the hindsight grew gray and black.
Once I had the strength to leave,
I knew there was no going back.

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MY WORDS?
MY THOUGHTS?
MY SECRETS?


DO YOU WANT TO FEEL MY EMOTIONS?
MY FEARS?
MY JOYS AND TRIALS?

DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY WORLD?
MY HORRORS
HOPES
AND HEARTBREAK?

DO YOU HAVE THE BRAVERY
TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE SOUL BEHIND THE CURTAIN
THE PERSON BEHIND THE SMILE?

PROMISE ME YOU’LL NEVER LEAVE
NEVER JUDGE
LAUGH
OR SCOFF.

FOLLOW ME.
I’LL SHOW YOU

WHAT I’M HIDING.

You may never touch the stars,
        but your life will be infinitely better
if you reach for them anyway.

Since I was old enough to speak,
i promised to love you till the end of time;
and now i'm praying for the end of time to come quickly,
so i can stop loving you.
Why?
because i dont break my promises.


Some part of me got lost in your apron;
Where you hid your cigarettes.
No I’ll never forget, cigarettes lit,
pots blackened by the thick smoke from the stoves.
Your majestic pose over the cans as you churned your latest recipes to life.
I just wanted to be like you.

Now you're there,
as fragile as a worm in a brine pool.
Laying in that hospital bed,
the white sheets stained by your spews of black blood.
The doctor said your lungs have given way,
I still cant believe that you're leaving me.

The ****** fuzz of adulthood
on the horizon
appears nearer than ever.

Crossing into frosty territory,
the frigid space between young
and not so young.

Six thousand five hundred
seventy four days
to get used to this voice.

To become familiar with these bones,
the way they crunch,
toes bent like ancient forks.

Days will be bloated with things
we never thought
we’d have to think about.

The ECG lines of our lives
flapping up and down,
a white wild skipping-rope.

They say it’s down to us now.
It’s our generation who will destroy,
then make flowers from the rubble.

Ghostly figure
Full of woe
Holding out a hand

Cold air
Drowns the lungs
Shatters the heart

Cries of help
Tin foil hug
Never stops

Invisible chains
Shivering spine
Screeching throat

Terrored spirit
No hope
No one

No one there