Being Okay ©

I wake up with a start, it is back and I know what it is!
Why else would I wake up at 3:00 a.m. in the morning?
Why else would my heart be racing?
Why else would my pulse be pacing?

It was not there when I went to bed.
It was not there last week or the week before.
It was not there last month or the month prior.
It was not there last year or many a year before that.

Suddenly it has ****** itself upon me.
Without warning it has slowly crept back into my life
and created stress and strife
Oh what a life

But I know the signs are there, that it is here
First my hair is not what it once was,
then I’m out of shape,
and next it’s the weight

From there the spiral continues,
the car I drive is now a wreck,
my home is no longer acceptable,
and my job no longer reputable

I don’t make enough money compared to the neighbors,
and the kids are doing me no favors with their behaviors
My dear is no longer a dear, and the grass on the other side
is looking so much greener

But there’s one thing for sure and I know
it well, that this is a life cycle that will oft repeat
So have a seat, as this too will pass to the other colored grass
and life will be once again okay

Andreas Simic©

i wish the people i love somewhat know it's going to be okay
i wish words would be as promising as what they seem to be
i wish their own ghosts wouldn't haunt them when they're alone past midnight
i wish they wouldn't feel the weight of a thousand thoughts drown them as they try to step foot towards what they genuinely want
i wish they wouldn't feel the burden of waking next morning after a restless night
i wish they know it's only a matter of time
i just wish it wasn't so difficult for them to believe it's going to be okay

I said “no” for the first time
At first it doesn’t seem right
I felt so guilty
And kept saying sorry
I felt so sad
It felt like I was so bad
It consumes me, guilt
It felt like it was my fault
As for the second time
It was a lesser crime
Still, there was a guilt feeling
But it somehow felt freeing
To say no without explaining
To say no without minding
To say no because you simply don't like it
To say no when you truly mean it

For some a heartbreak is worth a fifth of *****.
Others, a pint of ice cream.
For me, it was lots of **** last time.
But, you, you're a different kind of hurt.
The one that keeps you up at night.
The kind of heartbreak you can feel in your lungs.
Each breath becoming increasingly more difficult to take.
You are the kind of heartbreak that you never truly get over.
You are the kind of heartbreak that feels like it can only ever healed with a bullet.

In the darkest of nights
Your body pressed against the wall
Hands held high above
Let me slide my hands down your body
To feel every sensual curve
Let me kiss you as if it were the last time I were able
Sliding my tongue softly against your lips
Let me kiss your neck softly in this night
Sliding my tongue up your neck upon your ear
Down further to explore your body. Tearing off one piece of clothing as a am to uncover what my tongue seeks Watch me as I kiss down your bare body
Watch me as I spread your legs and slide between.
Watch me tear your underwear off
Let me slide my velvet tongue
Watch me explore your insides
Until I find the path that brings you to your limitations
Watch me climb up your body kissing every inch with wet lips
Kiss me so you taste what your inner being is
Open your legs and wrap them around my waist
Pull me closer so our bodies may collide
Pull me deeper so I may further explore your inner being
My hips bucking
Yours following in motion
This pleasure we share
In my life's fantasy.