State of my mind; I can barely breathe,
I want to control my chest but I sleep,
Shouldn't love amount to more than just words we speak?
Trying to connect, show the world I'm not weak.
Bad surprises lurk on a somber ledge,
Most find revenge in a simple sharp edge,
The majority of mankind is actually dead,
Living headaches feasting on misinformation they're fed,
I aim to stop this deceit, coax it to an end,
Intelligence is a worthy value to defend.
I can't trust my own feelings I've found,
I know I am foolish, but I sound profound,
I am completely hardened, I need help now,
Want to take off all armor, but I don't know how.
Never been with somebody who actually stayed,
Even the best left me feeling betrayed,
I tried but I was stabbed in the back where I laid,
I wish my life were a card I could give away or trade.

HOOK:
Life is a game I always lose,
Wrong decisions I can't help but choose,
All I want to do is improve,
And go forward but I can't seem to move.

9:30 PM I texted my friends,
With the same question, I know how this ends,
"Want to chill?" Say no or pretend
To have plans and no time to spend,
I decided to shut off my phone,
At least then it's my choice to be alone,
I heal with **** the only way I know,
I tripped and fell, as usual I'm on my own.
I attempt to stand up, need a helping hand,
But no one is there, this isn't what I planned,
I'm unworthy where I fell, so why would I stand?
Where did I go wrong? I need to understand.
Flames dance around me, life is a living hell,
Eyes blink but don't see, it's easy to tell,
The whole ******* world is under a spell,
You happily buy the ******* they sell.

(HOOK)

If life is a race I'm finishing last,
The future is near but I'm stuck in the past.

I can’t hear her voice
I’ve been given no choice

I can’t hold her hand
‘Tis not how I planned

I can’t kiss her cheek
It’s been many a week

I can’t see her face
There is such pain to erase

I can’t brush her hair
She must think I don’t care

I can’t ease her fear
She needs to let me near

I can only feel pain
I’m lost with nothing to gain

So the misery will remain
There is only one way to explain

I am broken to the core
I just can’t…anymore

Large doses of you
Were never good for me,
But, I've always loved to
Push my limits.

Last time I stood in this spot
I was sixteen, naive, and alone
And although it has only been three years
I am surprised at how much I've grown.

I do not blame you anymore
Nor hold resentment inside
For the things you have done to hurt me
What held me down I cast aside.

Been to many places now
I have seen both the dark and light
Watched the struggle between good and evil
Battles of wrong versus right.

We can wrestle our inner demons
Hoping someday to conquer and win
But we are too weak, I rarely see humans
Pick purity over sweet sin.

I was the one
that came undone
At the very first signs of strife

I twisted
upon my cross
Praying for another chance at life

I tried and failed
then I wailed
please make me into another exemption

But the shadows cast
by the time
now have turned into perdition

So cast the sins
and the stems
Watch as they go up in smoke

I fan the flames
of burning ice
life is such a joke