If I learn to turn off all the lights,
And return things where I found them,
And train to catch things as they fall,
(And then to not drop them at all)

If I learn to be so ever-loving,
Kind, not crude, not shoulder turning,
Predict the cuts that I could claw,
(And then not make the cuts at all)

If I learn to truly be content
And spend the days not feeling spent
Swallow resentment’s bitter call
(And forget bitterness forevermore)

If I learn to live outside myself
Learn to re-align myself,
Remove venom from my teeth-myself
Live a normal life myself
Begin to sanitise myself
Stop retreating to the dark, myself
Retract my knives and fists myself
Pull delusion from my eyes myself





Would I still be me at all?

every night i softly cry
eat an apple, hope to die
you've left me here, so red and flushed
im waiting for you, but i feel rushed
the bleeding heart slips from my grasp
i run to catch it in a dash
but only you can break its fall
and as it hits, I slowly crawl
to you.
adieu.
goodbye,
sweet lie.

You’ve spent your life afraid
that you would never be enough,
or that you would be too much,
but Darling, my love,
you are just right for me.
Balance, perfection, completion,
connection.
We were made to fit into each others missing pieces.

I am unsure what is worse;
seeing you in my dreams,
or not at all.
Each way provides
hurt and sadness,
and the realization that you’re gone and never coming back.

sitting
                     in the quagmire of her self contempt
                     a flame ignites beneath
                     the blackened caldron


like
                      a frog
                      set to cook in a *** of tepid water

she
                      was clueless
                      she was being devoured
                      from the inside out