If queer was a joke,
You’d be the first to laugh,
If queer was a guide,
You’d be the first one to be lead,
If queer was a song,
You’d be the first one to sing,
But when queer means queer,
You can’t accept it.

I put my heart into loving you,
Not realising,
That I was losing everything,
While you lost nothing.

My life was empty before you,
And without you I realise,
I built myself,
On loving you.

I etch my sorrows in broken bottles,
Remembering the name of every glass,
So that when I return here,
I know which one will get me drunkest fast.

Your love was empty,
The morning sky before sunrise,
Full of promises and waiting.

The prospect of love haunts me,
I love so much,
So many,
Yet if feels wrong,
To love another this fast.
Would I be wrong if I said yes?
If I said that we could try?
I’ve heard love blossoms in the ruins of hate,
But that might just be me,
Would I be wrong for being happy?
Would this finally make me happy?

My lover has the hand of an artist,
The heart of a poet,
The brain of a genius,
And the ear of a musician,
The most rare mix of beauty and tragedy.

I force myself under the water,
Feeling the cold invade my mind,
My skin tightening against the attack,
Shuddering,
But yet,
When I come out the other side,
I feel the hot sun on my skin,
Making all that cold suddenly feel worth it.

The taste of your lips lingers,
Mixing with the liquor,
Misguided decisions,
Hidden moments,
Hang in the air between us,
I lie down next to you,
Wanting to kiss you,
But finding myself too scared to make another move.

Sitting down at the river,
I’m alone,
You’re not there.
You never felt the same,
It’s ok,
I’m not mad,
I’m just happy that I can finally move on.
I’m sitting down at the river,
Smiling into the sunset,
Because it made me think of you.

With drops of liquor left of my tongue,
I realise how stupid I’ve become.

I feel exposed,
A bear without its coat,
I feel vulnerable,
A cactus without its spikes,
I feel scared,
A mouse running from the cat.
How much more of my life will be stolen?
How much more do they need to know?

This morning when we talked,
I looked into your eyes,
Tracing your face in my mind,
You’re so beautiful,
I could listen to you speak for days.
I wish all you would do is talk,
I love looking at how your mouth widens when you smile,
I hate it when you turn away,
Even when it’s only brief,
It makes me want to scream in pain.
And I know you would try to shrug it off,
That you wouldn’t care,
That’s why I’m saying it here,
Because I’m scared.