Faking structure through the years,
Answers lost in amber beers.
Waking up to each new day,
Hoping I will float away,
High above the reach of man,
His damning, racist, hateful clan.
To a place of deepest night,
Safe from bigots "cleansing light."
Darkness thick as velvet rope
Holds together all my hopes,
And dreams and fears and all desires,
Under stars and nightly fires.
Break away from everyone,
Claim the night, blot out the sun.
When one day the long sleep falls,
I'll journey down those crimson halls,
To crypts of love and memories lost,
Without a care about the cost.

I found hell sliding down
The slight curve of your flawless porcelain back,
Embedded discreetly in electric spinal cord buzzing.
And yet... Your eyes moistened with
Glittering pools of heaven.
The reports say I drowned...
But I know your back cracked,
Hell scrambled out...
Breaking my neck
And crushing my ribcage
In a swift enchanting dance.

They say that a person's heart
is the same size as their fist
but when you said I love you it hit
harder than your hand ever did
and I may have two black eyes
but yours are the color of fresh cut grass
and your heart must beat faster
than a hummingbird's wings
because your fist moved like
the needle of a sewing machine on my skin
but I was the one stitching myself back up
and I am covered in bruises
shaped like the hand I used to hold
but they will never hurt as much as
the last time I felt your pulse

*******
and your indecisiveness
Your mysterious demure caught my glance
You twisted, and dissembled my sight
Wrapped up in your eloquence
Believing in good intentions
Our evanescent love lasted only a moment
If it existed at all
Your nearness to me was made insignificant by your blithe nonchalance
And here I remain
An ingenue
Fooled again, lured in by your perplexing,
Negligent attitude towards life,
Towards me

The actors are outside smoking
and discussing ideas they only know
through fiction. I’m not amused.
I’m in a band that’s falling apart with wit,
and some not-eclectic, or odd,
but still strange type of grace.
There’s a message on the table when I get home.
There’s a piece of me that wants to be jealous.
I’m desperate for an escape.
I’m desperate.

Los Angeles
Griffith Park,
June 2009,
we got out of our concrete cage
and into the untamed wild.

We tried to escape the amber streetlights
because they polluted the sky;
twinkling stars
winking aeroplanes and
startling skylines
covered in the midnight blue.
I walked with you,
in lockstep,
we avoided the cracks
in the pavement.

We found a quiet place,
just you and I,
the sky cleared
and I didn’t want to blow my cigarette palls
into the sky
as I feared
they would block your view.