If I take your dismissal
and use it to fan my flames
Do I become wrath incarnate?
Or weaker,
Because I needed you to fuel my fire?

I saw your face and paused
Had they lied to me?
The relief flooded in.
I rested, buoyed for a moment.
Until I sank
Under the weight of reality.
It was your blood
Your genes
But your brothers face.

When you come to me, unbidden,
Beckoning me
To long-ago rooms,
Where memories lie.

Offering me, as to a child, an attic,
Gatherings of days too few.
Baubles of stolen kisses.
Trinkets of borrowed loves.
Trunks of secret words,

I cry.

is embracing the gifts from mother nature
the fresh smell of rain clearing my mind
the whispering wind singing me to sleep
the growling thunderstorm giving my soul new strength
the moon and the stars brightening my way through the night
the snow dancing around me and making the winter even more beautiful
the deep woods making me feel secure
the wonderful bond between an animal and me

is being proud of who I am
my phantasy making any grey day colourful
my mind showing me my happiest memories when I am feeling down
my body helping me to discover this beautiful world

is being with my friends
they accept who I really am
they support all my crazy ideas
they make me feel home wherever I am

is reading a captivating book
to leave all my thoughts and anger behind
to laugh and cry with the characters
to marvel at the wonders of a strange world
to stroll through the streets of a magic city or an enchanted forest

is being with you
you make my sorrows go away
you give me warmth in the cold
you bring light into my darkness
you make my heart smile
you unravel me and show me the best of myself

is being grateful for what we have.

One should try to glide through life as gently as a canoe;
If one needs to make a splash,
be sure to know where the ripples,
will go.

It cannot be described
only imbibed
through many sorrows
and sorries
until the pain
recedes to numbness
your compass
points to death
& you see the peace it brings
the silence
the darkness
you make your mind up
maybe not today
or tomorrow
but you know
you're going to die by your own hand
& you feel
just a brief
fleeting
happiness

...

that's the sound of suicide