I would rip apart your throat
with my teeth
and
swallow down your blood.
My mouth works through
muscle and
tendons and
bone.
My claws grow slowly,
as do my fangs,
and my appetite.
It cannot be sated.
I am Wihtikow,
less than man,
less than beast,
more dangerous
than both combined.

And so she cried, day by day
And needless to say
It never went away.
And now her heart beats sick and sore
As she bleeds out on the floor.
Oh crimson blood, I love how you flow,
Ever, ever, ever so slow.

The stars fall from the sky and up comes the sun, full, bright, so present
Birds echo calls that have been repeated for so many years, it's almost cliche
And the world is still sleeping
And I am still awake...

White men are shutting down the movements that create free country, free people
And boys aren't learning to not ****, they are learning that women tailor to them
Politicians banter about birth control and women's issues they can't understand
And I am still awake...

You are falling asleep, words stuck on the precipice of your bottom lip, hanging
And the moon is rising so high in the sky it could burst through our universe
The sun is skating down the curve of our atmosphere, sliding, slipping
*And I am still awake...

I know what you feel can tear you apart,
You ask why you deserve this broken heart.
Looking in a deeper lens,
Out of sight from the present tense,
I know there's a Truth, I've been there, too,
For why I've been forced to live so dark & blue.

Nothing in Life comes with certainty.
There's always an unfair Mystery -
And amidst the mists of misery
Of my darkest, coldest history,
There are lessons that become revealed to me.
So, now can I see the positivity.

The pain & sorrow, the feeling hollow -
How can I be blessed with this mess?
I asked myself this - Is there something I missed?
It didn't make sense. Every time I ask "why?" -
The pain becomes more immense.

But I was strong; I had to be.
I lived happily, like Momma wanted me.
Carrying on, singing my song,
My melody shaped by her Memory.
She lived on through me. Indefinitely.

Now, I look back, the pain, it lasts,
But my confusion, my rage,
"How could He take her away?" --
Easily, now, it's removed.
There are things that begin to make sense.
I've been shaped by Life Events.
The bad times were necessary.
They taught the most to me.

My regrets taught me Lessons I need.
Maybe for this Life, for the next, or maybe indeed,
For the Universe, on yet another lens.
Yet again, out of sight
From the present tense.

Like a rag doll in the rain
Your love, hence, purpose is gone
Now your forced to endure the pain
As you realize you were just a pawn

In your story this was the great love
In his you were just a bit part
As insignificant as an old glove
He tears out your still beating heart

She's dark but sweet
Not only her mind,
She always gets too deep
She's alone and weak
She has light eyes and long hair
And quite the piercing stare
So beautiful to look at
And the voice of an angel

She'll wrap you up in her dark embrace
Then eat you up without a trace
She'll drown you in her sweet perfume
The smell of sweet roses start to bloom
You think her love is your only chance
You're trapped in her hypnotic trance

Her outer beauty is just a mask
Feeding on a lonesome heart- her only task
A monster lives beneath those hidden walls
He won't believe me until he begins to fall
Her gentle smile and her sparkling gaze
Her beauty would keep you in a daze
A kiss from her lips is all it would take
To seal a lonely boy's fate
Her angelic hands will drag you under
One taste of her poison and you'll never be another's

So what has become of
the seashells I used to collect on the shore?
do they build up, unfathomable, now my hand
is too busy carving a life unlooked for.

and what become of the arrogance of youth,
they who knew know bounds;
determined to grow as changing as the tides;
that their dance would be the one
to draw the moon ever closer.

now all to hear is gulls screaming incessant songs
as I learn of rhythms that are caught,
a trapped constant between tide and wane,
an age where there is
no magic in this magnificence.

We never dreamt that such small wonder
(of invisible breath that moves the clouds
subtle shifting of the seasons
sunrises and sunsets)
could be so finite.

Nor did we plan
for a life as fractious,
incidental;
shifting grains beneath
unsteady feet.

You put your trust in me,
crack open caged ribs and slip
flawless hands into flawed breath.

I close the weeping wounds and
smile up, with innocent face false.

Shush, you give me such a gift
I could never drown and admit
this was not what I asked for.

You place ruptured trust in me
but never wonder of space carved,
a waiting cavern, empty, unadorned.

I stroke the hair at the nape of your neck,
your head sleeps steady on my shoulder.

I lay awake and remember -
recall, recollect, render pieces
of another

whose trust riddled woodworm
promises, once undermining the
structural integrity of my mind.

Still, my hand moves, a sure constant, trapped
between pulling you close and
pushing you away.