He says that he's leaving..
And that it wasn't my fault.
I'm trying not to cry and yet his face is beaming,
He's hiding something in that vault.

He'll be gone for a year...
Where? I don't know.
Wherever it is, he'll be there and I'll be here.
He's really antsy, he really wants to go.

Thousands of miles apart,
He'll forget me and yet...
He will always have my heart.

To hear a Mavis sing.
Is like life beginning from a pool high in the mountain tops.
The trickling of water over stones is the sound of laughter from your heart.
The doe and fawn savor the coolness of the water. The mother and daughter as one.

The flowing water goes down the mountain arriving at the heart of a forest.
Where trees have wide leafy branches open and welcoming. Like your arms which enclose around me so two hearts beat together.

The water flows down from the forest with life. Till it reaches the pool.

Our pool.

Where we sat laughed talked and cried and sometimes only the sound of hearts beating and the Mavis singing.

You are not here anymore but that pool still fills from the mountain tops.  And I am not alone when I hear the Mavis sing.

darling,
(I wrote this just for you)
you don't have to please anybody; trust me, if it had been my way
the only pain you would feel would be beautiful,

when we were all born, we were our own stars
beautiful, vibrant, sparking and alive,
our own visions and lifetimes shining down different pathways of life,

and somehow, we were all innocent
like how when you cradle two different babies' hands together
they don't pull away, they don't prickle with hate or feel any pride,

although we are our own, sometimes the constellations we have with others hold us back,
like how you could love igniting fire but then find yourself
being forced to tread water your whole life,

honey, when you wipe your tears on the backs of your hands
and tell me with a strangled voice how you're so alone,
I will be there to hold you whenever you need me the most,

but I'll catch your tear drops, and stash them away in my warm pocket
I'll tell you that sometimes it's okay to be alone,
for the flashing core of each shining star
has a unique sense of being and life
that only it can understand,

so sometimes I will not be enough for you,
and that's when I'll hand over your crystal tears
so you can turn within, and be there for yourself,

and stars burn out in the end as all things do,
we're not perfect, but that was the wonderful point
and one day we'll have to let go of each other
travelling through eons of space and time before meeting again,

but in the end darling,
you are a star whose image and shine will never fade from my mind,
everything about you is meant to be beautiful;  
your pain,
your solitude,
your tears,

just know darling,
you don't have to please anybody... for you're a real piece,
of the endless starry universe.

His eyes were like
clocks that stopped
spinning the moment
she stared into them.
The universe halted.
All things began to breathe
each others stillness.
To her: it was a simple,
blue, eternity.

on some days
i feel like my body is a museum
a collection of oddities---
     crooked teeth,
           mismatched eyes
i think,
maybe i am just an amalgam of
skin and bones that jut out too much
arms too skinny to be healthy
skin too pale to be normal

just a collection of oddities

on those days i feel like i will never be loved
my mother cringes when she wraps her strong arms
around my fragile body
my father frowns at my sorry state
when i look at them i realize that
no one will ever venture into my seas for they are far too
     rough
            icy

looking at the mirror reminds me of the turbulent waters that
my body holds
the stormy oceans that lies beneath my sun damaged skin
reminds me that i am a grimy museum, all dusty and crumbling

a collection of oddities

You should know,
She has the most amazing brown eyes.
Look into them as often as she will let you.
They look like the surface of another planet.
Swim deep in them.
Climb their mountains.
Explore their caverns.
If you look too long she gets uncomfortable.
I did it anyway.
Frequently.
I’ve read that
You won’t understand brown eyes until you fall in love with someone
Who has them.
I’m living proof that this is true.

Don’t play with her head.
It’s cruel and it will damage her more than you know.
Don’t forget to learn her.
It takes time and patience, and you will never be finished.
Don’t lay a harsh hand on her,
Or I will find you.
Don’t break her heart.
Because if you do, I’m afraid I might be too far away to pick up the pieces.
But most of all:
Show her love.
Show her more than I could.
Show her all that she deserves.

Lastly,
Even though I hate when my brain reminds me
You now sleep on my side of the bed,
I feel the need to thank you
For taking my place.
If she can’t live her best life with me,
I sure as hell hope she gets to do it alongside someone else.