Feeling regret,
Wasting time,
Lost opportunities,
Not listening,
Not trusting,
Being angry,
Being defensive,
Being hurt,
Fighting,
Attacking,
Speaking harshly,
Taking offence
When none was proffered,
Bringing past hurts and pain into the present,
Moments squandered
Never to be repeated,
Time and people moving on.
Finding it hard
To forgive
Myself,
For not being perfect,
For getting it wrong,
For being cruel,
For self sabotage,
For wasting time,
For missing opportunities,
For not truly treasuring
Those precious moments
Spent with someone you care for
Deeply
Who has so much to teach
And share
In so little time.

Oh the seductiveness
Of that deep dark abyss
Keeps calling,
Saying my name,
Come hither,
You know you want it,
You know you love it.
NO!
I don’t love it
And I don’t want it.
I recognise it now for what it is.
My uncomfortable comfort zone.
It’s there to keep me playing small,
To hold me back,
To imprison me
With its sticky tentacles
Of negative thinking
And victim mentality.
Bit by bit,
Moment by moment,
Hour by hour,
Day by day,
I learn to do things differently,
To change a habit of a lifetime,
To feel joy,
To seek pleasure in what I do,
To see good in those around me,
Quite simply, to live.
But vigilance my friend,
For it will always be lurking in the shadows,
To catch you unawares.
When your mind starts to fog,
Loses clarity of thinking,
Your emotions start to boil over,
Stop. Pause. Breathe.
Move your body,
Dance to an upturn beat,
Sing choirs of angels,
Jump for joy.
Change the stagnant energy
To one of the highest vibration,
To one of love
For you
And all.

When you believe in yourself,
Toxic words of others
Wash off
Like water off a duck’s back,
So hold your head up high,
Be true to yourself,
And don’t be swayed
By others’ pettiness, jealousy and spite,
For that is their chosen stony path in life,
And you have yours.

People tar you,
Throw their beef at you,
Call you names,
And undermine you.
You can put their skin on,
Walk around reeking of their ****,
Or you can take it off,
Shine bright,
And be the person you’re meant to be.

Now,
Which do you choose?

The trials and tribulations you go through
Are testament to who you are
And the strength in you,
For you will never be tested beyond your means,
So hold fast to your values,
To your dreams and desires,
And show them who’s wrong
And who’s right.

When all around you are
Dragging you down,
Calling you names,
Undermining you,
Do you stoop down to their murky depth,
Or rise above,
Show what you’re really made of,
Who you really are,
Leaving them coughing and spluttering in your dust.