When you are down
ill turn to a clown
when you do cry
ill send a smile to fly
when you feel upset
ill wish u have button to reset
when you are alone
remember two comes after one
when you see the roads end
remember its just a bend
in life out of the few that never end
its the love of a true friend

What are we doing here?
Strangers uttered to each other CHEERS
We live in two different world
But for unknown reason we were being furled

To a place beyond the outer space
For me a miracle that can't be untraced
Though reason was so unclear
All I know I'm so happy I met you here

Occasion that may take a day or two
Time that set for me and you
A dream that certainly will past
But for me.... truly a moment that will last....

There's both pros and cons* to being a boy with a heart of gold.
You see, gold is a malleable material; it's easy to mold.
I'd give anything, everything just for somebody to love,
So I roll the dice; compromise. I guess that isn't enough.

So when the *love of my life rears her ugly head, and I'd rather be dead instead of single.
I made the best of a bad situation but I never saw the worst in people.

There's both pros and cons to being a boy with a mind of stone.
You see, it's easy to shut out the world, but I feel so alone.
I'd do anything, anything, just for somebody who cares.
I can't point the blame, what a shame. I guess that it's only fair.

So when a new opportunity comes around the corner, I'm unfortunately not able to mingle,
'Cause I make the worst of the best situations, and I never seem to take to the best of people.

But there's no pros, only cons, for being afraid to love,
'Cause you'll sit back and cherish those moments from Heavens above.
And there's no pros, only cons, to shutting out those who care.
'Cause maybe you'll realize that life wasn't being unfair.

There's no pros, only cons when you don't know the pros,
So you think that they're gone, but no one can know.
I hope you can see how I stay optimistic.
Just take it from me: The hopeless romantic.

So when the love of my life turns her pretty face, and she smiles so gracefully walking down the steeple.
I'll make the most of what life has to offer, when I finally meet the best of people.

The first time I couldn't get out of bed, I shook so hard I feared my bones would shatter.
My mum never taught me how to deal with this excruciating emptiness inside me,
she never told me one day I could wake up and feel
like nothing in my life would ever matter.
She never told me there could be days and nights that pass by
in the blink of an eye
days and nights when I lie on my bed
and force myself to breathe --
because even breathing feels like a tedious chore.
She never told me I might wake up some day
and feel so tired, so tired that no amount of sleep
would ever make me un-tired again.
She never told me
I might sit on the bathroom floor some night
and feel the water run over me
feel it seep into my bones
and I might just sit there, for hours on end
until the boiling hot water that could leave my skin blistered
went ice cold and made me shiver --
She never told me that
I might sink nails and blades deep into my flesh
like voracious beasts because
it might take the pain away somehow.
She never  told me that
I might stay awake trying to lull myself
every
single night
while voices in my head
churned and churned and churned
that I was useless, that no one would ever love me, that I was incapable of being loved.
She never told me that my bones
would feel so feeble, fragile, that I would always, always feel
so cold.
She never told me
that I would sprawl myself on the bed, eyes wide open,
stinging
and I would wonder why nothing at all
mattered to me.
She never told me
that I would end up fearing the blinding daylight sneaking in through the curtains
because it means another day
of apathetic existence.
She never told me
that I would feel like a graveyard,
and she never told me that
a day might come when I look in the mirror
and see a ghost.
She never warned me
that the world might turn gray, she never
ever
ever
warned me
that panic would sometimes sweep me off my feet like a tidal wave
and I would lie on the floor/in a hole in the ground/on a bed of nails
and struggle for breath
and force my heart to keep beating --
for what I do not know,
because she never told me
that a day might come when nothing in the world would have a meaning.
She never told me
I would walk past snowdrifts and wish for peace
and crave to lie in one and let the snow cover me
until my lips were blue
and my skin was blue
and my eyes were cold
and I was finally as blue on the outside as on the inside.
That I would want to die
simply because there was nothing to keep me living.
That I would stuff myself with pills
so I could fall asleep at last.
She never told me.
She never warned me.
So when I went to her with my wrists ripped open and ragged
my hands warm and sanguine with my own blood,
she told me
We can get through this like family.
I don't know what family is, mom.
I only know what it's like to shake like a leaf from the chill, down to your very bones, when outside it's summer.
I only know what it's like to paint a porcelain smile on my porcelain face and feign interest
because just like porcelain I will shatter.
I only know what it's like to forcefully drag myself in the shower,
to forcefully wipe my chin from the *****,
to scratch slurs on my arms,
or else, to be ecstatic.
I don't know what family is, mom, because I've always pretended.
I don't know what family is, mom, because I'm made out of plastic.
I don't know what family is, mom. Dead girls don't have families.

Your eyes.
Your laugh.
Your smile.
Oh, how I miss it all!

Is it selfish-
     to want you all to myself?
Even if you were never truly mine... but I was *always yours?

Do you ever wonder
                                  If there's love left on this Earth?

Do you ever wonder
                                  If it's been drained of mirth?

Do you ever wonder
                                  Why the world is cold and still?

Do you ever wonder
                                   Why winter lovers catch a chill?

Do you ever wonder
                                   When an adult becomes "old"?

Do you ever wonder
                                   When children grow so bold?

Do you ever wonder
                                  How skies became so grey?

Do you ever wonder
                                  How a mockingbird's young play?

Do you ever wonder?
                                  Of this I cannot see.

But I know you'll never wonder
                                                     How much you love me.