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  Aug 2019 E
M H John
i’m sorry this world
did not welcome you
with open arms

send me a letter
when you get back home

so i know that
you’re safe
E Aug 2019
he made me notice today
while we were driving home
that i broke the cycle.

he made me realize today
that i am different
and setting myself up for a good life.

he made me go in awe today
that i have become the confident young man
he always wanted me to be.

i broke the cycle of abuse
that was created to make me fail
and i have overcame it so fiercely.
i love you. im a papas boy.
E Aug 2019
Living was a constant battle
My thoughts told me I was worthless.
Stupid and unloved.
People’s actions left an impact on me
My emotions left neglected.
Unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Filled my days with ease
2015 was the worst year of my life. The first time I tried to commit suicide. 09-03-15. A date that used to haunt me, but I have now gotten over. It is something I remember now because this year, 09-03-19 it’s an important day for me. It’s the day of my third testosterone shot in hormone replacement therapy. If 2015 me would have known I’d make it this far, I’m sure I wouldn’t have given up so many times. Everything happens for a reason.
  Jul 2019 E
Hlengiwe
My train of thoughts collided with reality
Shifting my beliefs and ambition
The memories all swim separately as if running away from each other
Making it hard to reminisce
Time seems to hate me
As it is continuously denying me access to be it's friend...
Incomplete....words just faded and disappeared
  Jul 2019 E
M H John
the moon pulled the tide
to new highs of extreme
scared to come down
the ocean forgot
all he used to be
until the sun came around
and the waves could now hear
the significance of its own sound
he thanked the sun
for bringing him
back to the ground,
“don’t worry”
said the moon
“i’ll be back for another round”
the moon is my enemy + friend
E Jul 2019
Identity plays a big role in my everyday life.
My identity allows me to be prideful.
My identity teaches me about relationships and the sincerity of people.
My identity is like a tutor. If I wasn’t the way I am, I would be very ignorant, and I still learn new things everyday.
My identity makes me feel uncomfortable with my body.
My identity urges me to do things that would be weird, and let’s me be unique from everyone else around me.
My identity sometimes feels like a chore. My identity is a series of trials and tribulations.
My identity has taught me more about myself than anyone could even attempt. My identity has put me at risk.
My identity has led me to be a victim of ****** assault.
My identity is something that is sensitive and dear to me.
My identity doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.
something I wrote.. being a gender nonconforming transman.
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