I'm a hypocrite
I can feel it running in my veins
Hypocrisy that is in my DNA
Making me lunatic
Hear me as I preach
Watch me as I oppose my words
Observe my actions
You'll see me stabbing your back
Then make you feel the guilt
As I am praised
Your trust becomes dust
Easly blown out of my life
By my duster in my control
I'll laugh with you
Never will I cry with you
Your tears mean nothing to me
But my success
should mean everything to you
I'm a chronic manipulator
Always playing the victim
You got played
A brief description
I feel it
Swimming in my blood
Moving from neuron to neuron
Consuming my whole body
I blink to get it out
Tears roll down my cheek
Containing the products it produced
I shiver as my eyes dart
From one place to another
All my emotions are numb
Only it shows it's dominance
My **** touches the cold floor
As my back leans on the rough wall
Voices in my ear get louder
Second by second their pitch increase
My hands shield me from the noise
Now I can't hold my vigorous heart
That threatens to forcefully pop out
This feeling is worse than heartbreak
Because it completely takes
Guilt is deadly
I fear the dark room
It has ghosts and truth
It makes my brain eats itself
It makes me turn my back on myself
But then I remember that fear is an emotion that is brought by ignorance
A smile appears
In the body of this feminine Earth
Am I the antibody or the cancer that keeps on multiplying killing it slowly?
Am I her knight and shining armour or an unwanted version of ******?
Am I the reason behind her smile
Or am I a dead cell which will be washed away by her ocean tears?
Am I the fire that burns all her beauty or am I the sun that gives her warmth and joy?
In her life what purpose do I uphold?
In her eyes who am I?
Back from being stapped behind by those I called my friends
Back from being bullied my mental state is unstable it needs a walking stick.
Back from being suffocated by prejudice my anxiety is kicking
Back from the crowd that screamed their chatters, gossip ringing in my ear
Back from my failed suicide attempts which reflect the failure I am
Back from running into the mist hoping to find my long lost soul
With my soul attached
I used to be amber that was me
December came to him not me
I didn't resemble him but me
Physical not spiritual me
I believe you can see me
The real me
As i close my eyes i will be free
When you remember me.
Comfort my dear friend please forsake me
Turn your back on me just like earth does to the sun
Free me from your hold and let me welcome a new dawn.
It's hard to leave your comfort zone, it would be much easier if it left you...