I thought about you today.
Why the **** can you not go away?

sweaty bodies swarm the house
with a red solo cup in hand
filled with alcohol and bad decisions

others are outside sitting around a fire
passing the tobacco wrapped drug
talking about life and such

there’s a girl sitting on the couch
sipping her drink as she looks for the boy
she’s in love with

It took me 17 years to finally meet you and 344 days to finally forget you
It took me 1 night to fall in love with you and 2 mistakes for our hearts to be broken
I felt like we were made for eachother
Like everything happened as it should be as if we were born already in love
My soulmate
We liked the same poems and preferred the same songs
We always laughed together
It seemed so logical it seemed so intelligible
So easy to intellectualize
It was obvious you were my destiny
Till destiny took you away till you ran away till you slept with her till you stayed with her
Every "I'm not ready for a relationship" is a "I'm not ready for you" is a "I don't want you" why couldn't I accept that
Why couldn't you accept that why couldn't you stay away
You come back sporadically
Come back long enough to remind me that you're still there
But she's still there with you

I am long gone
I have sat across from other dark eyes and laughed
I have connected with our men have kissed other men
See I can leave you like you left me
Like he left me
Like my dad left me

Don't know if these new eyes will stay with me or run like you did
Don't know if he feels the chemistry between us if he skipped as he walked away like I did
If he told his friends about me like I did
He reminded me of the first time
Of my first time in love
Of falling in love blindly unaware
I feel the opportunity of forever but don't think I am worth it
Don't think he thinks I'm worth it
I don't think he thinks of me
Maybe he isn't worth it
But I know he is I can't stop running
Can't stop hiding
Last time I put my neck out I nearly drowned
You nearly drowned
Don't want him to drown me again like you did
But I'm already falling
Blindly
Unaware

“yeah sure i don’t see why not” he says with a small smirk on his face looking at the petite girl standing before him when she asked for a ride home the next time they work.

she blushes and replies “alright cool”
little does the boy know that the girl is infatuated with him.

she asks him for rides home all the time. she stares at him all the time. she’s in love with him and he has no idea.

“You make me happy”
“I need you”
I need to stop
I’m getting attached
I need to stop trying to latch
I have problems
Look at me not even trying to solve them
She’s a player
Why don’t I hate her?
Yeah she flirted with me once
But I highly doubt it meant much
Yet here I am
Making myself sad
And making myself mad.
Why do I let myself get attached
I need to stop getting latched.
I glance at you and I smile.
How stupid of me, I’m getting all riled
You’re stuck on someone
You’re not done
I need to back off
Before I become lost
I’ve said what I needed to say
If you need or want me you need only to send a hey
But I should move on
Seeing as you’re gone