I fear I am an wallflower
ethereal
pianissimo to your fortissimo
head bowed
malleable as clay
molding
stretching
shaping my tongue to be silent

You took the beast within and
removed it's claws
it's fangs
any defense it had
I smiled all the while
baring the pink of my gums
the shade of welts
and a soft flowers bloom

To you, I am the wrong note
in a roaring crescendo of a
symphony
nevertheless, stirring embers come to rest
in the corners of my mouth
and I like them.

Such an fierce yet kind-hearted soul
you grew your own little world
one made of flowers and ferns
that responded like the unfurling wings
of a butterfly
straining for sunlight and warmth

You've touched so many hearts
held so many hands
mother
daughter
sister
friend
you've claimed your spot in our lives

Even as I stare ar your face--
so worn from burdens
so lined with laughter--
a glimmer of the woman you were
peeks through the cracks of your eyes

Squeezing
clenching
gently grasping your hand that so lovingly
tended to your own
an mere murmur of your former glory
remains

Loved ones flock
shaking under the weight of your death
distant beeping of machinery
mocking our attempts to hold on to you
if only for a little longer

"Don't leave," I inwardly beg
your lashes flutter
as if in response to my plea
I clench my fists but it's no use
you choke but never falter
my mother singing while you gasp

Red lights
whirring machines
as you
breathe
your last
I taste salt
it lingers in the air
and I think
it always will.

Esther Krenzin
Roguesong

I don't think I'll ever get accustomed  
to seeing your lifeless corpse
every nerve screams for me
to shake that frail frame

For a moment
I let myself
envision your eyes opening
and smiling up at me
but they remain closed
and all I can do is watch
myself fall to pieces.
Esther L. Krenzin
Roguesong

I saw the birds this morning
and couldn't help
but feel your presence
and I don't think I was alone
shoulders curving inward
our starving gazes devoured
all the fragments you
left behind.

Esther L. Krenzin
Roguesong

I wasn't lesser
no
that was never how you said it
there was just nothing more to me
then what met the eye

You singed bridges
cut ties
left me alone with nowhere to run
when I left myself bare to you
naked
wholly exposed
and you took my brokenness
and threw it at my feet

Yet,
I blame myself for your absence
"If I had just..."
I whisper
"Than we wouldn't be right here."
"We would be happy."
But happy, is not a word I understand
and sometimes
I think I never will.

Crimson skies
ducks wing their way
wading through the hues of
chiffon
lavender
marigold
the croaking of frogs sink
into my bones
a sea of tangled brush
and marsh
stretches to encompass a little
kingdom in its own right
through it all
I think if you.

Esther L. Krenzin
Roguesong

Vertigo
beneath the moons shadow
rough rope gripped
between trembling fingers
spinning stars
silence
a solitary wind teased my face
toes brushed dew-gilded ground

I leaned backwards
as if folding into the silky embrace
of darkness
eyes closed
the nearest my wingless form
could get to soaring

Slipping back to earth
I took a flying leap
throwing myself onto the
mere slip of a swing
breathless
weightless
the world tilted like an axis off kilter

There, in the stillness of the moment
I feasted my gaze on the way
the trees reached upward
as if they too, were searching
for something

Reality, right then, felt fragile
I dared not blink
for fear of breaking the spell
nothing existed outside
blinking fireflies
the wind as it enfolded around me
and I
gorging to gain the weight
my soul had lost.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-