Abuse does not always
yield bruises or scars,
sometimes the effects
are more like emotional prison bars.
Narcissistic Abuse
makes your mind feel trapped,
by painful memories and words
as if your soul was physically slapped.
The damage has been done
and it is hard to fight the lies,
that were imbedded in your head
instead you are traumatized.
I know how it feels
I have always dealt with this type of pain,
But between you and me,
I still get lost trying to win this never ending game.

You are my addiction
My forever affliction
I will beg on my knees for you,
No matter what hell you’ve put me through.

He was 13 when that car rolled,
all at once his life ended cold.
the poor boy never got to enjoy life,
he wasn’t able to experience love and have a wife.
although he didn’t have to endure loss or pain,
it wasn’t worth the road’s new bloodstain.
we never know when our life will end
that’s something my mind cannot comprehend.

So many people in this world
We are numbered
Like the sands of the sea
But you’re still important to me

I was told I need to talk to someone,
a therapist
because I’m drowning in the bottle;
my terrorist.
I have feelings I can’t explain,
the anxiety
And now I have to take steps towards
my sobriety.
I don’t know how I got to this place,
I’m lost.
All the hiding at the expense of those I love,
my cost.
I need to let it hurt,
the pain.
Or this terrorist will forever be there,
my chain.

I have sat in a pit of despair.
I have stood with feelings of no repair.
I have walked with both eyes closed.
I have ran in fear of vulnerabilities being exposed.
I now sit with a light in the distance.
I now stand with a slight hope of resistance.
I now walk a hard road to recovery.
I now run looking forward to this new discovery.
I will sit without a dark thought of probation.
I will stand with a strong foundation.
I will walk with a grin on my face.
I will run and not give up this race.
The past does not define you.