Your lips may have grazed
But your hearts never touched

You may not see the damage,
but it's there
beneath smiles and politeness
deep inside the laughter and
within every crevice of joy
lives doubt

You may not know you caused it
but don't deny it
inside every tear and worry
deep inside the sorrow and
within every doubt
you live

I'm insecure, but I'm trying
I'm confident, yet I'm hiding
I promise myself I will change
I will improve and be someone
That I can be proud of , someone
That my parents and my friends
can be proud of
I do my best, and for me
That's enough

You always tell me about my shortcomings
You have endless lists inside of your mind
Full of things that are wrong about mine
I'm never smart enough for you
I'm never kind enough to you
I'm just never enough

When I walk out of your life
Will that finally be enough?

If I count to three will you fall into a trance?
Can I hypnotize you
So you follow my every command?
If I tell you to love me forever
When you finally wake back up
Will you forgive me?

I turn 18 in a month
I hear people say they feel the same
As if there wasn't a shift
But I can feel and see the shift
I am no longer a shy little girl
I am becoming a confident woman
No longer caged by my insecurities
I have spent up till now transforming
I have learned the weight of responsibility
The responsibilities of truths, lies, and secrets
The difference between consequences
for now and for the future

No, I don't feel like a child anymore
I don't yet feel like an adult,
but I feel like this is my first step
into real life

The stars look bitter tonight
Like a candle is only sweet with a flame
You take away the sparks
And only the bitterness remains
That's why the stars only sparkled for him

For now I'll just blame it on me
Because its easier than hating you
I wish I could change the blood
That courses through my veins
If I changed who I am
Would you love me then?

He took the night sky with him
In his eyes, he took my stars