Today I wanted to be loved
I wanted to be held
I wanted to be embraced
I wanted someone to be in love with me
Someone who looked at me so passionately
I wanted him

Better off by myself
Broken heart
Love at first sight
Will **** you on second glance

Heart dismantled
But the words were sentimental
How can I glue the pieces together when I made them fall apart?

How can I get so wrapped up in something?
Why do I insist on my heart being broke?


It became painfully clear

I fail to realize...
I fail to realize over and over again
I fail to realize everybody is not for me
I fail to realize everybody doesn't want to see me succeed
I fail to realize a lot
I just want to succeed but it's so hard with no supporters
Try waking up everyday trying trying to do right
But to the world they see wrong
So they don't see me
Im an ant to a dog

I'm sitting here
Sitting here awake
But I'm weary of the way
Sitting here rambling thoughts
Trying to see if it's a "yes" or a "no"
Sitting here wasting my time
Time going by so fast
While I'm just sitting here
I hear the sounds of murmurs
Wondering why sometimes I have to be firmer
Wondering why sometimes I'm not present
But I'm in the bittersweet past
Im still wondering
Im still sitting

Pain is inevitable
Bad thoughts are nothing of God
Depression happens because the devil wants to stop your happy thoughts
I can only trust God
No one loves like him
And I had to question if he's there
But when I was alone and by myself near to my death bed
No one was there but him
He brought me out of my pain and bettered me

Mentally I was down
But then someone saw
They saw me
They saw my talent
They saw something that I thought I had lost
And once they saw  
I felt
I felt loved
I felt appreciated
Sometimes it's hard to receive support when you feel like you're not at your best
It's been a long journey
A really looooong journey
I've lost the most important and influential people in my life and I'm only so young
They pushed me so far while they were here
And sometimes I just have to realize my losses only makes me stronger
My lost ones are in the sky looking down on me and watching my future
While I think I'm stuck in this particular moment
But they see greatness
And I do to

Heavy rain
Cold winds
Chill bumps
Beautiful scene
Calming noises
Cozy toes
Lovely memories
Silent sleep
Relaxing vibes
Oh so sweet