Entry ~
*I walked into the sea. I dove beneath the rolling waves, and released every piece of me to the sandy pits underneath my feet. I came here to find some peace, to relinquish the pain I've been carrying, since the day my soul was born to this spinning planet of blue and green. I think my soul is made up of the past, of lives I've lived over centuries passed. I can't explain this karma any other way. It's stacked up against me, towering so high, I must've done something truly awful in a previous life, because there's no way it's karma from this one. I've paid for my mistakes in this life. I've done my time, endured my suffering for the mistakes I've made here, but I can't do anything about my previous lives. I don't think I payed my do's then. I think I ran. I know I did, because there is always an incessant urge to flee, deep inside me, whenever something goes wrong. It's instinctual, kind of like a lion chasing a gazelle. It's a natural instinct for the gazelle to flee when it's being hunted, and for the lion to chase when it's after prey. I think I've been running from the lion for centuries, maybe even millennia's. I don't know who the lion is, but I must've done something truly awful to deserve being punished through lifetimes of karma. I think this karma is how I'm supposed to know he's caught me. I've always had this feeling, deep inside my chest, that life on earth is a punishment. I was sent here to learn a lesson, and maybe I haven't been able to figure it out. That's why it feels like I'm constantly reborn, over and over again. I think in this life, I'm starting to figure it out. I think when I die from this incarnation, I'll transcend beyond the heavens. I'll go back to where I came from thousands of years ago. I'll go back to the place where the lion lays. I'll face him, and hope he doesn't **** me, or wound me to badly. I have to face him, because I can't keep running. I can't be reborn here again. This place is truly hell, but at least I find peace when I'm floating in the salty sea. It's a refuge for me.

He was everything that made my heart beat

You came
You conquered
You stayed

Even as you left

I beg you
granter of desires
aligner of miracles
throw him in my path once more

I've grasped you into my clutches
Jailed you into the chambers of my heart
I have a hundreds of your pictures stored in my eyes
You are nailed into my memory cart

Pain you've inflicted upon
My unbreakable soul
Has turned divine love to pure disgust
Too bad you played me foul

Eyes that wept for you
Now have the fire of revenge
Life that was devoted to you
Now strategies to avenge

You left me in unfamiliar ruins
Tripping and falling I found my way
I've changed since then, you see
I've learnt to hate today.

She jammed her tongue down my throat
and the taste took me back to simpler times
truth be told, I loved it, her kiss reminds me of my favorite ice cream
but it leaves a bad aftertaste, it's a killer addiction, like poison
she slowly eats me alive, I'm addicted to the heartbreak....

Don't hurry up things
For there is definitely
a time for everything

Grow your wings,
Wait for the rain to stop
Wait for your beauty to glow

Not too early, never too late
Just in the perfect time
You will shine

Burning

Burn burn burn
turning around and around in a world
gone mad on illusion,
be glad to scrawl some truth
on the walls of self,
this prison we create for ourselves
endless as the space between things
atomic glances in the glaciers
of arctic reality, alone.

Alone and with you, just you
alone, alone with you, just you.

You don't exist, I am here, alone.
Loneliness the barricaded cliche;
a comfort from the complexity of Pandora cities,
lived network, passing moments, waste,
waste bucket lies and lives -

Cries in the sombre darkness of the city streets
heathens and homeless burning, dying
spice addicted fiend crying in empty
alleyways, and me alone, crying, dying
slowly, in this cage of my own creation,
the only thing that keeps me sane -
creation of hope, "delusion you dope" says
voice inside, burning bright demon.

Burn and fry, mottle and cascade downwards,
find yourself in the dirt of experience
and avert your gaze to the heavens.

What choice do we have?
The alternative burns and haunts my soul.
Endlessly, needlessly
Burn baby burn.