Nakia

Nakia Sep 2017

I am depressed
I am a sad child tossed into a sad world
I hear others speak of me
And cant bring myself to care
Because the comments are true
And I'm nothing to me
In my head I hold no value
Besides support to my peers
A family member to those close
And a love to a lover
Often I kept my poems hidden
A level to my insecurity
Quietly breaking myself down
I'm increasingly quiet
And even more sad
But the thing is I cant blame anyone but myself
I'm trying to hold on
I don't want to depart
It'd be better to stay in bed
And if the day had no start

To be clear i'm not suicidal. That's not me.

#depression #trying #struggle #poetry #facts #truth #untitled #nothing #value #sad

Nakia Sep 2017

Fix Me

Please fix me
I'm desperate
Pleading
Grasping to you but not breathing
How are you dead with your heart still beating
Something deep within you
Gnawing
Eating
Watching as you wither and your mind turns needy
Honestly I'm greedy
Wanting to give unconditional love to someone who will always love and need me
I wanna be the thought in their mind
Staying there
Never leaving
The load I carry is heavy
Never knew my mind could be so empty
The scary part is when I look in the mirror I don't realize that's me
Don't wanna be a name in a graveyard
Depression is so scary
Suicide takes too many
Victims rest easy
I know you didn't know me and I know you didn't "need" me
But when any kid dies at their own hands it leaves me grieving
So much pain
I feel it trying to **** me
But I won't let it
I'm too busy trying to fix me

#depression #empty #carry #suicide #grieving #love #fix #me #teen #poetry

Nakia Aug 2017

Stick Around

Stick around
Let me lose the keys to our car
Let me steal your clothes and claim 'em as mine
Let me keep you up late knowing we both have work tomorrow
I want you to stick around
I wanna burn the food the first time I try and make you dinner
Stare in the dark and whisper back and forth when we're both afraid to close our eyes and drift a little
I wanna argue with you and make up in 30 minutes
I want you to wake me up with stories of your dreams
I want to drive in the car and make images out of each cloud
I want you to stick around
We can pick up each other when we're down
I'm not a Queen and you have no crown
But we can rule the world together
As long as you stick around

The rhyme scheme is a little iffy and i'm sorry if that doesn't flow, i'm just like that sometimes and I like my poems like that.

#love #young #boyfriend #girlfriend #dreams #future

Nakia Aug 2017

Untitled 1

His fists were paint brushes
The holes in the wall
Abstract art
His knuckles bruise as does his mind
Because that hole in the wall isn’t changing his life
Beauty in his pain
His thoughts thrown on the wall in a fit of rage
But those holes aren’t as deep as those in his mind
Filling with self hate
Regret
Dried paint
Lies.

#anger #art #metaphor #pain #struggle

Nakia Aug 2017

Because I love you.

Because I love you I’ll hold your hand while we walk past your friends
But they won't see my grip, how white i'm growing at the fingertips
Because I love you, I’ll trust you with his number in your phone
Only till we get home, because then baby, his numbers gone
Because I love you I’ll hold your phone for you babe
And crush it beneath my feet when I even get the creeping feeling that you think of another girl
Because I love you, I’ll make your eye black and blue and show you this is what love is
I’ll set your house on fire baby. Is that girl pretty now?
Because I love you, I’m going to break your legs so you can't run away from my love
Why won't you let me love you baby?
Isn’t every bruise a reminder?
Isn’t every broken bone a kiss?
I love you baby
I won't do it again I promise

#thatsnotlove

#abuse #domestic #love #hate #notlove #relationships #toxic

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