Every meal is hard to swallow
With you present at the table
My stomach rumbles
Yes, in pain
The swifty of my ways
I absolutely hate eating with you
Yearn to I do, retch
The unpleasant time
In which should be my fathers
My hero, NO MATTER WHAT
You take his place at the table
But never, will you EVER have a place in my heart
Ruined it you have for yourself
Many not once a time
including grandmother, has she despised you.

HOW DARE YOU
CAN YOU PLEASE
THERE IS NEVER TIME
WHAT ABOUT THE RIGHT TIME?
Time
Can you please go slower
Slower when its time
Or faster
Faster when its right
The odds are against my favor
When there is time
Is there ever time

Will I be
Genuinely happy?
Or will I look back
Back in remorse
Or Regret
The fear of being unhappy
In the end
I want to feel accomplished
Feel the love I dream about
Have the happy ending I fantasize about
About having children
Being married
And abundantly successful
Being successful

You are for me
In times like these
I cry
In distress
Exasperation
I press
Myself against you
In time like these
I long for your warmth
The ache in my empty pain
Comfort seeking
Selfishly
Greedy
For your love
And your care
Your attentiveness towards me

Why was it so easy.?
To fall in love with you
To give myself up to you
To give you everything
I gave you almost it all
The little I had
What I’ve had to offer
To others... it may not be much
But, to me, I gave you my world
My insight in life
My belief
And my heart
....
Now,  since it was so easy
How easily will you take care of me ?
Handle me with care
Love
Support
It was so easy for me to love you
Although you are not weary at all
Easy is the way my heart can be carried
A burden
But not too much to handle
Is it because I am still nothing?
I am nothing compared to you.
But as easy as it was,
I will do all in my will...
To be easy to love.
Just by you.

My dearest one
My little love
So “tough”
   Yet so fragile
     To be
       Tall
         My handsome
           Little one
            Not so little at all
              Now stop
               Don’t grow
                 Not anymore
                   Why are you bitter
                     Mad at the world?
                       Grow out of your hate
                         And into our God
                           Stay safe
                             And stay away
                               Way away from evil
                                 Temptation
                                    I can only be there
                                     Be there for you
              For so long, I’ll defend you
          And always care for you
    Love you, you little
Not so little homie
                                  ❤️

I feel my mind weep
My heart down so deep
Torn piece by piece
Im not able to breathe
Shut in box
So tiny
Claustrophobic much
Suffocating me
With this pain
So hard to eat
But the breakthrough has changed me so much I must stay strong
For my family
My relationship
And prove everyone wrong

Why do you run?
The fear that of commitment is it
Or is it that the older you get
The lonier you wish to be
You push me away
Do you not want me
If you wanted just me
You should have looked for an orphan
Or stopped leading me on knowing my package
You should have NEVER let me open up to you
Not this much
You have all of me now
My biggest treasure
That’s the word, that’s what you are
You are perfectly a Coward

Wow
Oh wow
His arms
Holding me
His arms are
When he holds
When he holds me
Oh how I feel safe, Next
Next to you I am so happy
But when you hold me, oh
My troubles all go away
In your arms I belong
I know that now
Together
Forever

I cover up and hide
Under my sleeves
In between my thighs
Under my jeans
You make me sad
I call this line a coward
And this one “you’re easy”
You’ve named my lines
You know them, know them not
After all
They are your lines

Don’t love me
Then toss me
Fumble with my feelings
Far from renouncing
To the ache of your love
An astonishing attachment
To toy with my soul
Is to dismember me in whole

Anxious as I am
My heart beats faster
Something is wrong with me
Birds mellowly follow me
Gray skies
Hard to love
Why

What was her name?
Did it start with an M?
Who?
The girl before me.
Or the name of the girl you gave yourself to?
What’s her name?
Maybe I don’t want to remember.?
Something I’d like to erase
Forget
I wish it was me...
But that’s not how it works
Was it easy though?
To be with her
Then another
Tell me
Tell me more
Torture me
But not for long
It’ll disappear by morning
I won’t remember
I’d probably want to
Forget it
Either way...