When my mother dies

I'll get a tattoo
not in memory of her
but in memory of her
hatred for tattoos

           I don't know

what the tattoo will be
I'll decide when I get to the parlor
what it is isn't the point
the point is

          how I'll live

will be up to me.
I'm not sure how I'll feel
but I do know I'll have the freedom
to chose who I'll be


          without her.

I bite my lip
Until I bleed
To prevent my thoughts
From pouring out
Drowning you
Before we have a chance
To swim

Watching the sky turn
From black to grey to blue
Only means
Another day without you